Flamingoing in the Bay Area

The Silence of The Flamingos

2011-03-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

One of the challenges in my line of work is maintaining some measure of quiet while setting out a display. Waking the neighbors, the recipient, or worse, the recipient's dog complicates things and can spoil the surprise. Not to mention the toll it takes on my heart when a voice booms out in the dark demanding to know "What's going on out here!"

Last night it seemed like we were making enough noise to rouse the whole block. The birds were all piled up at the front of the loading area and persuading them to slide closer to the tail gate created an awful lot of clatter. Getting them to let loose of each other involved even more clanking and banging.

Thanks to the insulated windows and the inclement weather we got it done without the two dogs inside sounding the alarm. Another clean get-away.

Chillin' in the Barnyard

2010-12-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

It's been cold here in the Bay Area. I know those of you who get snow and sleet and blizzards and all that kind of weather probably think we're a bunch of wimps, and you're right. When the thermometer drops into the 30's I think we should all stay home, bundled up in down comforters, heater cranked up to "inferno" and a hot toddy at hand. Not that my heater has an "inferno" setting, but all the rest is good.

However, like the mail, the flockings must be go through.

Walking out onto the lawn to set up these critters, the grass crunched under foot like we were walking on broken glass. Lucky for us, the ground doesn't freeze. There are stories from other parts of the country of people carrying thermos's of boiling water to thaw the earth enough to get a flamingo rod in. Or of using a cordless drill to make a hole. Another in the long list of reasons why I live in California - none of these are necessary.

Back to whining about the cold.

When we returned the next night to pick up the display everything had been rearranged. The cows were lined up nose to tail headed from the sign to the street. Pigs were shoulder to shoulder with the cows and the roosters marched along side. I was kicking myself for not bringing the camera. My cell phone camera was of no use. Resigning myself to not getting a photo of the parade, I crunched my way to the end of the line and grabbed the first cow - which was encased in ice. As was every critter on the lawn. I wasn't wearing gloves. I don't even own gloves. My fingers were blue by the time I got back into the flamingomobile, where I found my camera. Of course.

Mountaineering in the City

2010-11-22T11:11:00.000-08:00

This photo doesn't begin to do justice to the slope of the street we conquered this morning. There are some mighty hills in San Francisco but we don't encounter them very often. That's because there are very few yards in San Francisco - or at least few front yards.

We stay out of backyards due to the chance of getting shot, eaten by guard dogs or arrested for trespassing. All things detrimental to my happiness and general well being. If there is anything I'm protective of, it's my happiness and general well being. That, and keeping my hide in one piece.

But I digress. Since yards can be in short supply in beautiful downtown SF, it's always wise to ask the sender of a surprise if they know for sure that there is a place to plant the critters. This is a lesson learned the hard way (is there any other way?) If the sender is from out of town, their answer is then checked by looking at the satellite pictures and street view pictures on Google Maps. Another lesson learned the hard way.

Even using all the cool computer tools, this one was going to be a mystery until we arrived. Both the overhead and street views showed a barrier of bushes. Obviously there was some dirt there somewhere, but would we be able to get through and plant the birds so they could be seen? I considered taking along a machete, but I don't own a machete. That seems to make a difference. Plus I would have to charge extra for the landscaping which might not have pleased the sender. A yard make over wasn't the gift they had in mind.

What a relief to arrive and find the actual house was next door to the wildly overgrown yard. A very nice little planting area on both sides of the walkway was perfect for the birds. All I needed to do was scale a near vertical, wet sidewalk to get to the yard from where we managed to establish a base camp for the flamingomobile. Hey - I'm old(ish), and I have bad knees. It was a challenge. And I get to do it again tonight.

But the results are worth it.

Dinosaur Dirt

2010-11-12T12:05:00.000-08:00

The dinos were out for Mike's 50th birthday. It was a rainy night which pleases the Flamingess. Not because I am particularly crazy about getting wet at 3am, but because being in the rain is about the only way any of the critters get cleaned. Rain and sprinklers, the Flamingo Surprise answer to animal hygiene.

A quick aside about our experience with rain. It seems that even if we drive to a victim's home in a downpour that threatens to wash the flamingomobile off the road, it lets up long enough for us to get the yard set up. The deluge may start again the moment we slam the van doors closed, but we are usually just barely damp. Your grandmother kept her ironing damper than we get. Apparently the weather gods like lawn greetings.

Since Mike's dinosaurs were in a neighborhood close to home, and the Flamingess had to practically pass the place on her way to a morning meeting, an executive decision was made to leave them for an extra 12 hours. Hey - who am I to turn down the chance to actually go to bed at night?

Of course, by morning I'd lost track of my plan to stop on the way to my meeting. That failure of memory was aided by oversleeping and thereby reducing the usual 2 hours it takes me to become fully conscious to a scant 1-hour 15-minutes. I managed to get breakfast, get dressed, put on some kind of face, tame the hair and in to the car sort of on time, and figured the dinos could wait until I passed on my way home from the meeting.

As I neared the dino'd neighborhood I checked the clock. Quick calculation: 15 minutes before meeting starts, 4 minutes travel time from destination. I'll pick them up as originally planned. 7 minutes later I was pulling away from the now naked yard with this in my car.

Which is how I ended up arriving at my meeting with my hands caked with dinosaur dirt. Not many people can say that.

Just Bats About It

2010-10-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there is a delightful crossover between my businesses. Yes, the Flamingess does stuff other than tip toeing around strangers' lawns in the middle of the night.

In my other life, I am creating signs for a new shop in Palo Alto, Halo ... a blow dry bar. She's getting rave reviews so if you're in the neighborhood drop in and give yourself a treat.

The owner's son apparently loves Halloween and does it up in a big way each year. Right now, his front yard is a pirate haunted house (how cool is that?) As a part of his month long celebration of all things trick-or-treat, he holds a charity event supporting the Lucile Packard Children's Hospital at Standford.

Flamingo Surprise is donating a flock of bats to add the spooky decor for the event. Not sure how bats and pirates go together for Halloween but it doesn't really matter. It's all fun and for a good cause. Come on by to visit the bats, get a good scare in the haunted house and support a very important organization.
Jeffrey's Haunted House
Saturday October 16, 2010
6PM-9PM
2155 Ward Way
Woodside CA, 94062

Will Pigs Fly?

2010-09-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

Not just pigs, but cows and roosters too?

When we pulled out of the warehouse lot this morning at around 2am it was clear and still and pleasant. Just 31 miles away, in Pittsburg, it was chilly and blowing a gale! Serious wind! Right around 40-45 mph.

You'll notice in the picture that the sign is laid way back and all the critters are aligned the same way. This is to keep them from lifting off and heading for Antioch.

Never before have we experienced the possibility of having display items blown out of our hands. Visions of the sign flapping down the road like a huge plywood vulture were not pretty. For just a few moments I thought it might do just that and take me with it.

Did I mention is was windy? I wonder what we'll find when we return tonight.

The Early Birds

2010-08-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

After months of neglect I spent some time this morning reading old posts here. Although, while writing them, I frequently felt like I was being redundant that didn't come through in the reading. I am surprised - pleasantly so. Maybe that will be inspiring enough to get me to come back and do some more.

It's not like the work has stopped. We still often spend several nights a week out messing with people's yards. Not for the past two nights though. That's because the Flamingess messed up an order and installed it a day early. The birthday was Saturday but the flock arrived on Friday.

One danger in scheduling our work is getting the day wrong. Customers want to help by telling us the night we should deliver. What we really want to know is the day they want the display to be on the lawn. So a Friday night delivery is really a Saturday display.

This time I failed to clarify the days and interpreted the discussion about a Friday delivery to mean a Friday display. So Stoney gets to enjoy his 60th birthday flock for 3 days instead of 2. And the Flamingess and DBFA get to enjoy 2 nights off instead of 1. Sometimes, not often, these little errors work out to everyone's advantage. The misunderstanding may have been encouraged by the fact that we had a flock to pickup Thursday night on the same side of the Bay so it was easy to just drive a few miles further south and replant the birds.

At least we were only one day early. Last time I messed up the delivery date we showed up a whole week early. Twice in 14 years - not too bad, but there's no need to do it again.

Early Start

2010-04-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

I don't remember being in this yard before this morning (you'd be surprised how many of them I recognize, even years later) . The sender of this greeting is a frequent flocker so it's possible we were here just about a year ago to welcome the birthday baby home.

Even if age 1 is a bit early to appreciate the sentiment I'm sure the family and the neighbors will enjoy this colorful combination. I think the pink and yellow add a nice touch of Spring to the yard - sort of like giant mutant tulips.

Mud, Dust and Dirty Birds

2010-04-07T17:24:00.000-07:00

The birds have been busy lately. This is good on several levels. Since it's been raining, the flocks have been given a much needed bath, although the effect gets negated when they get un-planted and mud clings to the rod. Fortunately, no one seems to mind a little mud on their flamingos. Its not like they're being served up as hors d'oeuvres.

The rains stopped a few days ago and the crows didn't get a shower so they retain their classic dusty patina. I suppose I could give them a bath but my yard is so hard that there's no place to plant them to dry. Then the bears would want a bath, and the buzzards, then the bats and cows and penguins and I'd have to have to whole critter population in the tub and my bathroom just isn't big enough. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

A Storm is Coming

2010-02-26T12:02:00.000-08:00

Literally, a storm is coming and we will be out in it tonight. There are thunderstorm warnings which could make the night's work very interesting. Consider this scenario - standing in the rain, in the middle of an expanse of lawn, sticking metal rods into the ground. That's what we will be doing. A crispy flamingo planter is not the kind of surprise anyone wants to find when they step out the front door in the morning.

I'm going to make sure we have snacks, drinks and a blanket in the van just in case we have to spend some time waiting for a cell to pass through. As long as we're prepared we won't need any of it.

Cows that Care

2010-02-20T16:34:00.000-08:00

The morning after the herd was delivered we found out that the birthday boy was delighted. Waking to find this public display of affection in his yard completely changed his emotional landscape. Turns out his brother, who's birthday was two days earlier, had passed away just a month before. What had promised to be a rather sad occasion was transformed into a day of love and laughter. He loved it so much we were asked to leave it an extra day.

I love hearing stories of how this goofy little business affects people in such wonderful and positive ways. (How many more ways can I come up with a way to use "love" in this post?)

A Porky Pig Valentine

2010-02-14T15:53:00.000-08:00

We didn't run into Cupid while we were out this morning but he shouldn't have any trouble finding Bill's place to leave his basket of goodies. Wait - Cupid doesn't do the basket thing - that's the Easter Bunny. I'm so confused.

It doesn't really matter because, as you can see, someone made sure Bill is receiving the proper attention on his very special day. Don't you wish you received a whole yard full of pigs instead of the same old roses and candy in a heart shaped box?

Playing Hooky

2010-02-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

It's Friday afternoon and I have the blahs. There's work to do - a sign to finish, website graphics to create, low voltage lighting to wire up, paperwork to file, a dog to walk - and I don't want to do any of it. So the most logical thing to do is go to the movies.

We haven't seen Avatar and everyone tells me that it should be seen on the big screen instead of waiting for it on Netflix. The tickets have been purchased (love on line ticketing) and we both managed to get dressed. I have to keep the momentum going long enough for us to actually leave the house, get in the car and drive the 2 miles to the theater.

In the mean time, I continue to avoid real work by updating this poor neglected blog.

While I'm off to the movies, you can check out my friend Emily Weil's awesome art. Tell her I sent you. (I'm sucking up in hopes of getting another one of her paintings)

Flamingo is the Official Bird of Madison Wis.

2009-09-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

Today the Madison WI City Council voted to make the pink plastic lawn flamingo their official bird. Is good to know that city governments can do business and still maintain a sense of play. Good job Madison!!

Cool New Video Tool

2009-08-22T17:46:00.001-07:00

Look at how cool this is.

Merry Christmas To All

2008-12-28T11:52:00.000-08:00

It's after noon on the Sunday after Christmas and I'm still in my nightshirt and fuzzy slippers, sitting at the dining table browsing cool backgrounds for this blog. The Cutest Blog on the Block has lots of great, colorful and fun backgrounds that are super simple to use. The biggest challenge is to figure out which one to use right now. I'm going for a New Year's theme, at least for a week and then I'll have the pleasure of picking a new one for January. I'll also play with a customized signature and if I am really ambitious, I might work on a new header. In summary, I am avoiding real work - the kind that pays the bills.

It's just too gloomy looking outside and I imagine it's cold in the shop. In order to perserve my excuse for lethargy I'm deliberately not checking the very easy to see thermometer. If it turns out to be above 50 degrees then I need to come up with another excuse. It may just be easier to put on sweats and go to work. There is a restaurant opening soon in Alameda, Shay's Cafe, that I need to get the signage done for. I could go over and install the window lettering and give the owners a sense that I really am going to get this done before their opening day. That would leave just (just!?!) the wall painting. For that I need to have a platform lift because the sign is above the entrance doors and tops out at about 16 feet from the sidewalk. I am just too old and too lame to attempt this on a ladder. My scaffold will only get my feet 6 feet off the ground, which puts my comfortable painting height at about 11 feet.

Tonight could be our last flocking of 2008. Other orders may come in early in the week but the phones are very quiet. There has been a slight pick up in business in the last 2 weeks but, considering what it had dropped to, a single call changes the statistics drastically. However, I have high hopes that 2009 will start off better than 2008 ended and the trend will continue to improve.

If I don't make it back before next year, Happy New Year to you all. Be safe, happy and healthy.

Thanks for Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

Hoping everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving. We certainly did. We spent the day in Paradise, even Geraldine. No, really, we did. Paradise, California. My daughter, MsM decided that we should all gather at her parents'* place for the holiday. Six people came in from Utah and we came up from the Bay Area so it ended up as 14 for dinner. MsM took care of much of the food by enlisting Marie Callender's to do all the prep work. We picked up a big box of frozen goodies at the restaurant in Chico, then made a sharp right turn and headed up the hill to Paradise. There we were welcomed by our gracious host and hostess and made to feel right at home.

Geraldine was so excited to arrive that she rushed right in the house without making a pee stop first. As soon as the greetings slowed down that omission needed an immediate remedy - right on the living room rug. Such a nice first impression. Fortunately, she was soon able to charm her way out of exile in the back yard and rejoin the festivities. No more accidents.

All the activity; patrolling for dropped morsels, monitoring everybody's movements, playing king of the mountain in a recliner with CJ, getting chased out of the kitchen, getting underfoot (you know, standard dog duties) left her exhausted as you can see. It's a dogs life.

Dinner was delightful. There were so many of us that we needed two tables. Excellent food, lively conversation, delightful company. After we were able to stagger away from the table, we convened to watch Kung Fu Panda. During the movie almost everyone slipped off to bed. By 10pm not a creature was stirring, not even the dog.

The next morning started with a huge bowl of sausages, a prelude to the day-after eating. A quick run to a local beanery for coffee to get the heart started and I was ready to take on the day. After breakfast part 1 (I didn't realize there would be a part 2, silly me) a walk was suggested. Upon discovering that CJ makes his spending money walking dogs I handed over control of Geraldine to him and away they went. It was a glorious morning - cool, crisp, clear. Quiet streets, beautiful trees, stunning views - we had lovely stroll around the neighborhood.

After breakfast part 2, DBFA and I accepted an invitation to tour the neighbors' home and shop. In addition to a charming and roomy home, the large wooded lot also concealed a pool, a garage/kennel/workshop, and around a corner hidden from view is an amazing workshop. I walked in and my first words to DBFA were "Ooohh, I want one of these." All of the woodworking tools a reasonable person could wish for, and maybe a few more. And all of the room needed to use them. If DBFA and I lived there, we'd probably never go in the house.

Lunch was next on the schedule. After all, I hadn't eaten in almost an hour! Leftovers are the best part of the traditional Thanksgiving meal. Cold white meat turkey, stuffing, cranberries and mayo sandwiches - yum! Because all of the ingredients were out on the kitchen counter,I was able to introduce our host and hostess to one of my favorite snacks - peanut butter and barbecue potato chips on sour dough bread. In my opinion its best with all natural peanut butter but if all you have is Jif or the like, go with it. The chips must be barbecue flavor. Smear the bread with a generous coating of peanut butter. Cover with a solid layer of chips. Smash chips with your hand just enough to crush them. Eat open faced. Repeat as necessary. This is the main reason why I don't keep potato chips in the house. An alternative: substitute crisp fried bacon for the chips.

After lunch we decided another walk would be a good idea. This time around we detoured into Bille Park. Next time back in Paradise I want to spend more time exploring there. It was almost time to start home so that was going to have to wait.

We were packed up and on our way by a little after 3pm and home before 6pm. A whole vacation crammed into 36 hours. It was great.

* It's a complicated extended family, so just take my word for it.

Seeing Stars

2008-11-02T14:26:00.000-08:00

Since my last whiny post things have picked up a little bit. We are still getting way too much uninterrupted sleep but that will change over the next few weeks. How do I know this? Flamingoing will be good because I have several meetings and appointments booked. It is a strange but reliable phenomenon that if I need to be up, dressed and able to relate intelligently with the general public before noon, we will be out creeping around in strange dark yards until 4:oo or 5:00 am. I am expecting at least one order for Thanksgiving simply because we are planning to be out of town. Our back up flockers are out of commission due to several severe health issues so it's either turn down work (gasp!) or creative scheduling best accomplished by offering extra days at no charge.

Anyway - last week ended pretty well. One display out during Hallowe'en was 100% unmolested
even though it was set up right along the sidewalk. We were very pleased. We had hearts and stars out for two celebrations, and everything came home from both jobs.

Too bad the same can't be said of the dinosaurs we picked up this morning. The pack was one raptor short.

The most obvious difference between the situations: the dinosaurs were in a high priced neighborhood. Hearts and stars were in less affluent areas. The more expensive the home, the more likely that someone feels entitled to help themselves to a "souvenir." I'm not saying that it's always someone from the target household, but what decorating niche in a $5 million home cries out for a slightly worn plastic t-rex? If it's the neighborhood kids, don't the parents wonder about the coincidence of a yard full of penguins across the street and the sudden appearance of a penguin in their offspring's environment?

Enough pondering the vagaries of human behavior. I think I'll go mix myself a little adult refreshment and spend the remainder of the weekend doing some intense goofing off. Did I mention, we don't work tonight?

Business Sucks!!

2008-10-28T14:44:00.000-07:00

I'm sure everyone has their own story about how the current economic meltdown is adversely effecting their life and livelihood. That isn't going to stop me from whining about how it's effecting mine. If it wasn't for telemarketers, politicians, and wrong numbers I'd be picking up the telephone just to make sure I still had dial tone. We got one new order last week - count 'em: one, 1, uno. The dust is starting to build up on the flamingos and while I appreciate that its the season for ghosts and goblins, I don't really appreciate the spider webs that are accumulating in my critter bins.

I do have to admit however that the quality of business that is coming in is pretty good. For example, I took an order from out of town. She wanted a herd of cows delivered to her best friend, but the friend lives in a huge complex and on the second floor. The question was whether there would be a place to plant the herd where they would be appreciated by the birthday girl. Google Maps to the rescue. I entered the address and called up the satellite picture of the complex. Lots of green areas were visible. A look at the street view pictures were also promising. We struck a deal - if it turned out that we couldn't find a good spot, she would get a 50% refund. Luck was with us. A perfect spot right at the base of her stairs, and a short haul from the flamingomobile. The icing on this birthday cake - every one of the cows was still there when we returned to herd them back to the barn. Whoo hoo!! That was 2 weeks ago.

Last week only the flamingos had an outing on an emergency flocking The caller has been sending flamingos to this person every year for his birthday but lost track of the date until the day before. We were warned that if the birthday boy detected us, he was likely to chase us down to extract the identity of the sender. I am pleased to say that the flocking tradition has been upheld and unless there has been a confession, the sender remains anonymous, and the recipient remains puzzled. I love these stories.

Flocking for the Cure

2008-09-13T13:21:00.000-07:00

The Susan B. Koman Foundation held a 3-day, 60-mile "walk for the cure" event in San Francisco last weekend. Two members of a networking group I am involved with (the Women's Business Exchange) participated. The Flamingess decided to show her support by taking a small flock of flamingos and a sign out to set up along the course.

On Friday, day 1, we parked with doors of the flamingo-mobile wide open to blast Jimmy Buffett music. We joined other on-lookers and supporters to cheer, clap and wave to the hundreds of intrepid walkers along the streets through Golden Gate Park. It was a perfect San Francisco summer day - clear and warm. Warm like it only gets in September and October - summer comes late to the City. After about 3 hours of cheering for everyone the Boob Brigade ("my" team) appeared and had their picture taken with the flock.

The flock decided it should go out again on Sunday to add its energy to the final day. We started out for the first cheering station but we had been out doing our surprise work until the wee early hours of the morning and so overslept that time slot. The second designated cheering area was full. No place to park and unload the birds. Not to be discouraged, we cruised along the walking route to find our own place but since this day's route was through downtown SanFrancisco grassy areas were hard to find. Finally we found the perfect location - right at the end of the walk just before the participants crossed the finish line at Fort Mason. Many many photos were taken of walkers posing with the sign and the flock. It was a great way to spend the day.

Yay!! SARK's new book arrived!

2008-08-14T11:56:00.000-07:00

Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper arrived on my doorstep yesterday evening. I got the package open but all I managed to do was admire the cover art until just about 10 minutes ago.

In spite of giving us the night off by leaving a display of hearts and stars to languish an extra night I still ended up staying up until 2:00 am watching the men's all-round gymnastics competition. Then it was up at 5:30am so I could wash down enough coffee to let me make it to the golf course safely by 6:30. This is the first time all year that my golf buddies and I didn't put the first footprints on the dewy greens. One twosome ahead of us - hmmph! I played pretty good (for me) although my putter wasn't overly cooperative. We finished just in time to make it to the WBE networking meeting.

After the meeting, it was back to the warehouse to change vehicles, pick up DBFA and head up the hill to retrieve the delayed display. Then down the hill with a stop at the grocery store and then back home again. Put away the groceries, sort through the mail and (TMI moment coming) I had a chance to grab the book and spend a few minutes reading in the bathroom. I am going to love it.

How can anyone resist the colors, the open style and pure flowing joy on every page. It's even fun to read the table of contents. Now I have to put it down, finish this post, eat my lunch salad (with walnuts, almonds and craisins - yum!) and get myself down to the shop to finish painting the last of four 190" long banners for the Santa Cruz Port District. Work before pleasure. Not really, work is a pleasure but I have a new book and I want to play with that.

Anticipation

2008-08-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received the notification that my copy of Sark's newest book, Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper is finally on its way. I'm so excited to be getting my hands on her latest outpouring of colorful optimism. Once I have it in my hands I'm sure you'll notice that my posts get more colorful and less structured. Left to my own devices, I suffer from a low grade fever of perfectionism. Sark is the perfect cure.

Flamingess in the Media

2008-07-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

I was on TV last night!!!

Yesterday the Department of Labor Statistics released a report revealing that women have finally achieved equality with men in one aspect of the work world - "For the first time in decades, the percentage of women with jobs has fallen as the economy falters. A new congressional study found that women are equal victims in the poor economy." Not exactly the job equallity we've been working for, is it?

So why did this get me on TV? Channel 2 (KTVU) news was looking around for business women to interview and found the East Bay Women's Network (EBWN) website. The researcher called the President first but she didn't answer the phone. Second person on the list, the Vice President (me). I answered the phone. A quick phone chat and then it was, "Can we interview you ?" "If I can find a camera, we'll be there in half an hour." Keep in mind, I had been up for all of 10 minutes (I work nights, remember?) . I'm slumped in a chair at the table with my first cup of coffee in hand, teeth unbrushed, bed hair and a day or two past my best bathed by date. 20 minutes later I am opening the warehouse, dressed, showered, gargled and shampooed. Another miracle.

Watch the segment here.
OAKLAND: Rita Williams Reports On Women Dealing With Wage Decline In Poor Economy

Flamingos and the Water Shortage

2008-07-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

The water shortage is starting to show its effects in our nightly activities. We have encountered some seriously hard yards. Even when there's grass growing, it must be that stuff advertised on TV that will grow on a concrete block. The situation is only going to get worse. Mandatory water conservation hasn't started yet but it is only a matter of time. By the end of summer the layout of any given display will be dictated more by where the weeds are growing than by any aesthetic sense. Why weeds? Because we can usually get a rod into the ground by sticking in the middle of a weed. Even where a jack hammer can't penetrate, a weed will manage to grow.

After 4 concrete block yards in a row, we hit a nice easy lawn. Good thing too since this was a big installation: 50 flamingos and 50 buzzards. What a menagerie! Joseph had been flamingo flocked for his 49th birthday, so for his 50th the perpetrators decided reinforcements were called for. By the time he hits 60 we could be trying to fit every critter we have into his yard.

Every Night Geraldine

2008-07-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago DBFA and I decided we'd been without a dog for long enough. The cat wasn't in agreement but he was outvoted. DBFA has been hinting about for a mastiff for ages but I wasn't too crazy about sharing our small living quarters with a creature who could coat the walls and ceiling in dog drool with one shake of its head. I hit the internet and found the perfect dog at the Berkeley Animal Shelter . Mastiff - check. Small mastiff (Cane Corso) - check. Non-drooling mastiff - double check! The next day Geraldine moved in (and the cat moved to the warehouse, big sissy!). This morning she demonstrated that she is finally totally at home. We were out on a longer than usual delivery run and when we got home she completely ignored us both. No greeting from the top of the stairs, she didn't even get off the bed to acknowledge our return. We'd been gone too long as far as she was concerned so she treated us to a serious sulk. There's no room for her to ride along while we work, and she's way too big to sit in my lap. I may have to start leaving DBFA home - he doesn't sulk anywhere near as well as Geraldine does.

Reverse Grafitti

2008-07-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

I think this is a great thing. Take a look. Very creative and imaginitive and the art work is top notch.

Vanity Made Me Do It

2008-07-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

I use Google Alerts to monitor a number of things on the web. Among them are; where my name pops up, mentions of Flamingo Surprise, and goings on in the lawn greeting industry. This morning the alerts brought me to a blog by another flocker, I Got Flocked. Having a nosy moment, I clicked the link to her posting and then navigated over to her blog. Once there I couldn't resist the urge to comment on one of her posts. Then it occured to me that this might prompt a visit to my blog. Narcissism kicked in. I didn't want to be caught with my last post being in June. So here I am.

The flocking business has been spotty. Good weeks and bad. (%$&#* economy!) For the first time in years the clipboard was empty (I keep all active orders on a clipboard). Fortunately it only stayed that way for a few days but still . . . I don't like seeing that grimy gray surface staring at me from the desk. Fuel prices also prompted a price increase. I was concerned that I would lose sales from that but it hasn't happened. The number of customers who don't buy due to price has actually decreased. Interesting. In pricing discussion with artists and crafts people (I haven't talked about my craft work here yet have I?) the philosophy is; if it isn't selling, raise the price. It's a perceived value thing. Apparently that works in the yard card business as well.

Sign making on the other hand, has been going great guns.

Bad Blogger

2008-06-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

How many times have I heard that if you're going to start a blog you have to keep it going? That's one of the small business mantras. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously I have some latent passive aggressive personality trait that kicks in on this.

Once in awhile I get the urge to come here and get caught up but I manage to find some lame excuse not to. Then something happens that deserves noting.

Yesterday we had a display, 50 flamingos and 30 hearts, for a woman's 85th birthday. When we pulled up to the address the yard was well screened from the street so we set it up facing the house. It was a big yard and with all those hearts and a full compliment of flamingos we filled it up pretty well.

Beautiful warm late Spring evenings make it hard to sleep. Couple that with no other work so we decided to make the pick up early (only a lawn greeting person would consider 11:00 pm early). The birthday girl left us a note taped to the marquee. Not wearing my reading glasses, I did the best I could to decipher it in the interior dim lights of the van. It seemed she had been waiting for us in hopes of witnessing the take down and let us know how delighted she was with her surprise. I never tire of hearing this - tell me again.

Wild and Wonderful Flamingos

2008-01-26T11:54:00.000-08:00

This is a great display of creativity and imagination

Wild Plastic Pink Flamingos in the Garden

2008 - Happy Flocking New Year

2008-01-01T16:36:00.001-08:00

OK - so I haven't posted in awhile. Four months is awhile. Actually, it's quite awhile. I've thought about posting, not often but once in awhile. I wonder how many time i can use awhile in one post? Too many, I bet.

I just haven't had anything interesting to say and not enough ambition to post boring. It's harder to write boring than interesting, at least for me. Not that this post is going to end up interesting, but the start of the new year seems to require at least some effort on my part to show up and if I can't be interesting, I'll be boring.

Business of late has been terrible. I've been reaping the rewards of my 2007 marketing campaign. If any of you ever doubt that marketing efforts are directly reflected in the amount of business you get - don't! I stopped going to most of the networking events available to me, and dropped my Fall Home & Garden Show. As a result, I've had way too many nights off in the past three months. We did finish off the year with a herd of cows. They headed out on Friday and didn't come home until Sunday morning. Everyone else stayed home.

So - tomorrow morning at 7:00 am I will be acting as a substitute at a BNI meeting. At 11:30 am you will find me at the East Bay Women's Network monthly meeting. Time to get my hustle on because the alternative is looking for a (gasp) job and I really, really don't want to do that. Gotta get those flamingos working again.

None of this stopped us from spending a lovely week in Kona, HI in December. A whole week of shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops. The thermal shock of returning home was stunning. As wonderful as it was though, the viral generosity of our fellow travellers lingers. My cough has diminished enough to allow me to be in public without people recoiling. DBFA still sounds like a refugee from the TB ward. Next December, we'll stay close to home and have a real holiday - Christmas tree, friends over to share some cheer, all the trimmings. It's been years and I realize, I miss it. This time next year I may swear "never again!" but right now it seems like a good idea.

Anyway - Happy New Year to all. May 2008 be happy, healthy and prosperous.

Yes, I'm still around

2007-08-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time and enough people have commented on my absence that I finally guilted myself into abandoning (temporarily) my idle pastimes; like reading the lawn greeting forum and 3 sign forums, painting signs, hustling work, flocking yards and occasionally sleeping, to check in here. Who knew I had so many readers? (I think that's 5 now.) All the pictures have been added to the album. Check them out over in the sidebar.

Overall the flocking has been pretty good this summer, although for awhile in July I was checking to make sure the phones were still working. They were, but I wasn't. Everyone was on vacation I suppose. Since things were slow, DBFA and I decided to drive to San Diego for a weekend to visit his son for son's 45th birthday. Within moments of committing to the trip, orders started pouring in. I took 3 orders while sitting in the chair getting a haircut. My substitute flockers went from a single order and an easy couple of nights to 5 orders and 3 nights of marathon driving.

San Diego was amazingly humid. My menopausal, hot flashing system was not happy about that. The boys did not play well together - that Father-Son thing. I'm not inclined to play referee in these things but I came very close to going out to buy a striped shirt, whistle and yellow flag. Perhaps a baseball bat or sap would have been a better choice. Eventually a truce was declared and we did manage to treat ourselves to some excellent food. If you find yourself in Ocean Beach, check out the Portuguese restaurant on Newport Ave. I'd be willing to put up with the scrapping just to lick the plate that came with the scallop skewer. Warning - garlic lovers only. We squeezed in a nice visit with DBFA's San Diego daughter and her husband (the other girls live in other states).

We headed for home early on Sunday. One detour to check out a new (to me) vinyl cutter. My original one is acting up and a sign company in Fountain Valley was selling a very good machine to make room for their new one. We dragged the poor guy out of his bed at a too-early hour to meet us at his shop to make the deal. I am a very happy girl - this machine ROCKS! Here's the first sign to come from it.

I got to see almost the whole lunar eclipse Tuesday morning. we started out on the flocking run at about 2:30 am and there was already a bite out of the lower limb of the moon. By craning my neck, I could watch the progress out of the van window (I wasn't driving). It was all over before we got home. There were some amazing color transitions, deep reds and rust colors and just before totality and again as the moon started to emerge from the Earth's shadow, a faint blue. This is from the sunlight passing through the Earth's ozone layer. I'm so glad I was able to see it, even if I do have a stiff neck now.

Well, I better sign off and get some sleep. There are a couple of flocks awaiting delivery and we mustn't keep them cooped up in the van any longer than necessary. Don't want to get the ASPCF on our case.

Ennui or Neglect - you decide

2007-06-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

I've been a very negligent blogger, but I have been taking pictures of all the displays. The web album in the sidebar has been updated with all the pictures from February through early June. No way I can recreate the stories that might amuse, but at least you can see the results.

In addition to all the night work, I have also been sort of busy with the sign business. Here are a couple of recent jobs:

A pretty big awning - the logo is 10-ft x 4-ft.

A trade show banner for one if my networking friends. She has a fascinating business; Hand Tales.

Stand by to dicsover the next lame excuse I can come up with for not posting. I might share some more of my sign work too. Aren't you excited?

What a week!!

2007-06-18T15:17:00.001-07:00

Last week seemed like one long drive. Our nights started at the usual times (12:30 to 1:30 am) but ended after daylight. 15 orders in 7 days which equals 30 stops (not counting stops at the gas pumps) and something in excess of 1500 miles.

Two orders for hearts and stars.
A birthday and a graduation.

In order to finally get an actual night's sleep, we let 3 displays stay a bit longer and picked those up Sunday afternoon. My buddy, HJM volunteered to ride shotgun so DBFA could get some badly needed extra rest. In this one trip, we made a circuit of Tracy, a loop around Moraga, and a lovely drive out along San Pablo Reservoir to get to El Sobrante, Leaving El Sobrante we found ourselves stopped in traffic as the Sikh spiritual peace march filled the streets. It was a beautiful thing to be involved in, even just as a vehicle bound spectator.

Birds and more birds.

Last night was a single pick up, a mere 3 miles from home. Easy, easy, easy. Of course, both vehicles are stuffed with plastic animals, signs and letters. Being basically lazy, we'll wait until we have to load up for tonight's work to start shovelling out the current loads.

Lots and lots of critters. Lots and lots of surprised grads, Dads and birthday celebrants.

I'm Baaack

2007-04-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

Actually, I haven't been gone but I certainly haven't been keeping up on my blogging. Lots of displays put out and picked up since I last posted and there is no way I'm going to get them all caught up here. Fortunately a new feature has been added - a web album, so all the pictures I take of my late night adventures can be posted for anyone who wants to check them out. I will be putting all the flocking pictures there so you can see more than just the ones that get featured in my posts. Cool.

Right at the moment, I'm splitting my attention between typing this and watching the Masters (golf, for those of you who are wondering). The course is absolutely merciless and it's pretty much still anybody's game. Oof! - ViJay just dropped one in the lake.

So you ask, other than driving around all night spreading joy, what has the Flamingess been up to? I was lured back on the the golf course by a friend. After 10 years away, I an pleased to discover my game isn't any worse (as if it could be), I still like it, and a few lessons promise to provide improvement in my game. Since I work nights, having something that actually gets me out in the daylight is good. Some weeks it seems like I don't ever see the sun.

Yesterday, HJM and I attended a dowsing class put on by one of my networking contacts, DowserShirley. I'm not ready to go out and find water or a diamond mine, but I should be able to find my lost glasses and that is bound to be a big help.

More personal news: my daughter just got married in Maui. She was planning a wedding at the end of May, but took advantage of a vacation in paradise to do the deed and avoid the stress of planning a traditional event. Good instincts.

Next week, I head off to Las Vegas for the International Sign Association trade show at the Mandalay Bay. Three days exploring all the new equipment and technology and visiting vendors. I love machines, so this will be like a long weekend in a toy store for me. Gathering up all my pennies and nickels for the trip (big gambler, NOT).

That's all for now. I'll upload the latest flaoking pictures and make another post for those. At least you, my faithful reader, know I'm still out here plying my peculiar trade.

Bye By Birdies

2007-02-12T17:03:00.000-08:00

It seems like I've been on the run, but I can't quite figure out what I've been so busy with. It obviously hasn't been blogging. Maybe if I managed to keep up with this a little better I might be able to remember where all the time has gone.

The most memorable event in recent weeks was the loss of almost half my penguin flock. They had been busy, dropping in to spread birthday cheer all around my territory. They even survived an outing at a school. But someone in San Rafael bagged my birds. There is a neighborhood watch alert in effect for their recovery but I don't hold out much hope. How tacky is it to steal almost half of a little girl's birthday surprise?

The cows and hearts suddenly are very popular. It tickles me that after all this time my customers can come up with a new combination that looks so good. I think the "black and white and red all over" lawn looks great.

And just to show how challenging this job can be, this flock is clinging to the side of a very steep driveway. The picture doesn't do the terrain justice at all. To test our agility even more, when we returned to pick up the birds, some of them had migrtaed further into the landscaping. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am not the athletic type. Running, jumping and climbing (especially climbing)are not among my natural talents. But since the birds refuse to come when called, I had no choice but to go in after them. Too bad there wasn't a video camera rolling.

Happiness is . . .

2007-01-22T17:47:00.000-08:00

I hear stories about how much people enjoy their flamingo flockings but I seldom get to see just how much. This happy birthday girl took lots of pictures of her day with the flock and was gracious enough to share them with me.

Gather 'round everyone

Conducting the choir

Bad Bird!! Where have you been?

Story time

Sand, Surf and Stars

2007-01-22T16:53:00.000-08:00

The Flamingess spent the weekend at the beach. One of my networking groups had a weekend business planning conference and "vision quest". It was held at a wonderful facility in Pacific Grove, Asilomar. Perfect weather, perfect company and just the right mix of work, play and libations. Most of our group was housed in this building. Since we didn't get a visit from security, I am going on the assumption that we didn't disturb too many of the other guests with our tiptoeing back and forth between rooms to get more wine and contribute snacks to our "dorm" parties.

The conference agenda included a daily trip to the beach (a short, pleasant walk)to play in the sand and dodge the surf. It is my opinion that this should be a mandatory exercise for all business meetings. Think how much more creative everyone would be with sand between their toes.

However, we couldn't stay forever annd normal life had to resume. Luckily, I was able to bring some of the stars from the clear night sky at the beach back to celebrate a birthday in the city.

Is It Cheating to Back Date?

2007-01-17T17:18:00.000-08:00

After a slow start to the year, DBFA and I had several days of busy flocking. I managed to remember the camera for most of the trips but didn't mamange to get them posted here. SO I'm going the cheat and dump everything righthere in the post that I am actually writing on a date several days later than shows here. It's very handy to have a time machine. Now if I can just get it to work on other aspects of my life.

Anyway - back to playing catch up:
Wednesday, January 10
A very cool promotion.

Apparently this birthday boy had a "thing" for dinosuars when he was a bit younger. Something a sister won't let him forget.

The next night's adventures included a flock to let a sick co-worker know that she is missed.

This space was so tiny we were only able to put out a dozen penguins. Even with the flock scaled down to such a tiny number the birthday girl probably still had trouble getting out of her front door. After all, if we we can't be extravagant, we can at lease be inconvenient.

The flamingos stayed very busy for a few more days.

Cross-country Flocking

2007-01-02T16:59:00.000-08:00

The phone rang about noon on New Year's day. The caller left a message requesting a flocking for his granddaughter for today. Since I was whining last week about lack of business, I couldn't very well ignore the call, holiday or not. This is the result of that call. Papa Ted lives in Florida and wanted to make sure Avery knows he's thinking about her. Avery's dad was waiting for us and came out and snapped a picture of the Flamingess and DBFA in the act. Then he went into the house to call Papa Ted and let him know we had arrived. It was 4:30am in Florida, guess Ted wakes up early - or at least he did this morning.

Ring Out The Old, Ring In The New

2007-01-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

The last delivery of 2006 was to celebrate a 40th birthday. Eric must have some really good birthday parties. It was chilly enough that when we picked up the cows they had a light coating of ice. ICE?! I want to go back to Hawai'i, where the only ice I encountered was in my Mai Tai's.

The first delivery in 2007 - a flock of penguins for Zach's 13th birthday. No ice here. We had fog instead. Actually the fog wasn't visible while we were working, but it sure shows up in the photo. I know we've been in this neighborhood before, but I think we were working on the lawn next door.

Happy New Year

2006-12-31T12:34:00.000-08:00

Wishing you all the very best New Year.

I Love Testimonials

2006-12-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

The single disappointment in this business is that we never get to see the actual moment of surprise. Occasionally we will hear about it later, but usually we have to content ouselves with the fun of doing the job. Just to prove the exception to the rule, my email brought me this:

On December 17 I held an open house to celebrate my husband’s 60th birthday. As part of the fun I hired Flamingo Surprise to place 60 flamingos on our front lawn as a surprise for my husband. On the appointed morning I looked out and the lawn was a riot of pink flamingos along with a huge sign proclaiming my husbands “Flocking 60th”. Yes, Kerry and friends had done their work under cover of darkness and we never heard one sound.

When my husband saw the flamingos he laughed and laughed and said that of all the things he could possibly think of that would be on our lawn the flamingos were the last thing. As our guests started to arrive for the party they too enjoyed the "Flamingo Surprise”.

Kerry and company came back late that night to pick them up, again without making a sound.

I would recommend Flamingo Surprise to anyone who wants to give the gift of laughter and fun to someone special. And the best thing is it can always be your secret, because unless you tell them they never have to know who did it.

Jan Woycheshin

A big hug to you, Jan, for providing this wonderful testimonial.

Catching...up

2006-12-27T14:16:00.000-08:00

The itching has almost completely stopped and what little tan I achieved seems to be fading away all too soon. It will be good to get back to work. (That is a not too subtle invitation to the Universe to get the phone ringing.) The cat is almost caught up with his lap-sleeping. For a few days he had to be peeled off like a bandage if I wanted to do something rash, like stand up. All 883 emails have been downloaded (768 SPAM) and the 10 that were important have been answered. We have read the comics page from all the newspapers that were piled up, done both of the missed Sunday New York Times crossword puzzles, and opened all of the Christmas cards. I'm giving some idle thought to sending some belated cards out myself, but if I lay down with a cool cloth on my head the feeling should pass. My cold is mostly gone, passed along to DBFA who doesn't seem pleased by my generousity.

It is way too windy to go outside and I won't have any sign work until after January 1st so I guess I have no choice really except to stay snuggled up inside with a book. I'm savoring Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck. Laugh out loud funny. If you don't think so you are either too young and are in for a rude awakening someday or you're a guy. I read a chapter, wipe the tears, go pee, read another chapter, wipe the tears and then put it down. My only complaint is that it is too short and if I let myself I will finish it in a couple fo hours.

No flamingo work until New Years either - come on phone - RING!

Happy Holidays

2006-12-25T18:02:00.000-08:00

Seasons Greetings or perhaps I should say, Aloha;

You can consider this a combination Christmas Card and obnoxious Holiday Letter. It's Christmas Day and I am sitting here in my recliner, elegantly garbed in a "Sleepy" ( you know, one of the 7 dwarves) shirt, fleece sweatpants and sheep skin slippers with my laptop on my lap. Armand has just started March of the Penguins on the DVD player. Outside it is gray, hazy and cold. Inside, the wood stove has driven the temperature to a level that has me reconsidering my garb. So far today, the major activities have been unpacking and scratching my multitude of bug bites.

You may be wondering (and if you aren't you might as well hit "delete" now); unpacking from what, where did you get bug bites? We just got back from Hawai'i. Yes - from 12/17 through yesterday morning we have been in paradise (except for the bug bites). Clear sunny days, clear warm nights; temperatures from the mid-70's to the high 80's, relatively low humidity, light breezes in the day and beautiful stillness at night. As for the bug bites, while I could have done very nicely without them, at least the mosquitoes are small and didn't annoy me with the obnoxious "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" that the local blood suckers emit.

We were able to make this trip due to the generosity of a dear friend. I made the reservation at the Kona Coast Resort II (time share exchange) almost 2 years ago while still getting a steady paycheck. As trip time approached I realized that the cash outlay for airfare, car rental, etc., was going to be incompatible with my self-employed cash inflow. An alcohol inspired impulse caused me to offer the week to any of our guests at Thanksgiving dinner. Two already had plans to spend Christmas week in Puerto Vallarta. The other said she would think about it. A few days later she called and offered to lend us the air fare. We countered with an OK, but only as long as she came along (condo sleeps 4 and has 2 bathrooms).

Thus DBFA, HJM and the Flamingess just got back from Kona where we had to put up with evenings like this.

It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

It wasn't all perfection (but close). There were the aforementioned bugs, actually the bites. Airline seats are too small. The bed was like a rock slab. The couch, sleeper bed was like a hammock. The easy chair must have been carved from lava, and the pineapple ornamentation on the dining chairs was guaranteed to grab at delicate parts of anyone passing. No one slept well, but who goes on vacation to sleep anyway? We couldn't find pineapple juice (except canned) in any of the supermarkets. And - I caught a cold (someone had to do it). We are all ready to do it again.

We only made one excursion this trip, a drive to the volcano. It took about 3 hours to get there, with only one stop at the view point near the south point and just above the green sand beach. A vendor had wares spread out on the wall and some displayed in bowls of the green sand. For those who aren't conversant on Hawaiian sand, the green is olivine which is a prominent component of the lava at this one spot on the island. We didn't spend a lot of time exploring at the volcano since DBFA wasn't up to doing a lot of walking on the uneven ground and Heidi and I didn't want to just leave him sitting in the car. There is no escaping the reality of just how new and alive this land is.

On the way back I made the executive decision to check out the black sand beach. A little background here will help - HJM has been to the Big Island 5 times prior to this trip and visited several others. On every one of these trips she has hoped to see a sea turtle. Special trips to areas guaranteed to have turtles have proven fruitless. We are standing on the black sand beach at the edge of the water gazing at the view. I turn and notice the rock I am standing beside has flippers, and a head! There is HJM's turtle. A woman standing nearby points out about 4 others in the surf nearby. (notice the rounded "rock" on the beach)

The rest of our time in paradise was spent shopping in Kona. I love it - the quintessential beach town. If you get there, you must check out the Wal-Mart (I'm serious). Lounging at the pool, sipping Mai Tais, dining, reading and working hard at relaxing consumed the rest of our days and evenings.

I hope your holidays are as pleasant and enjoyable in their own way as ours were. Merry Christmas and a very happy and prosperous New Year.

I will close with an image the sums up our trip

A New Star in the Firmament

2006-11-25T20:01:00.000-08:00

Actually lots of stars. Yes, it's true! We have added a new item. I had an order for them before they were even delivered, a good sign. Being the hard core procrastinators that DBFA and the Flamingess are, we waited until it was time to head out to make deliveries before we tried to unpack the stars we needed for the night's work. I have to give the factory credit - they are very well packed. We were wading in a sea of discarded wire ties, plastic bags and sheets of corrougated cardboard by the time we had liberated 15 stars from their captivity. The rest of them are still in their boxes, stacked in the back of the small flamingomobile. No sense doing anything about them until we have to, right?

We've been working, but there hasn't been anything particularly original or challenging so I'm going to take the lazy way out (see above) and skip posting about it. Except for this one picture because I like the phrase. The best stuff comes from the customers.

How Much Can You Cram Into A 10x10 Space?

2006-11-06T19:50:00.000-08:00

This is how much I can cram into a 10x10 space. Fall Home and Garden Show booth.

The manufacturer of most of my critters, Union Products, closed its doors on the first of November. The loss of the pink plastic lawn flamingo, all-American garden icon, made national news. Since I had so many people approach me to mention it, I decided it would be nice to show the propler respect for this sad event. Thus - flamingos in mourning.

How Scary is a Pink Goblin?

2006-10-31T19:36:00.000-08:00

Putting displays out for Halloween is usually a little anxiety ridden. After all, the ghosts and goblins are out roaming and some of the older (notice I didn't say more mature) may be tempted into tricks. But as Jennifer Tilly said in the movie Let It Ride "Nothing ventured, nothing ventured."

!! Scary !! What more can I say.

This yard was full of these inflatable figures. I wish we had been able to set it up so it looked like the bats were flying out of ths skull's mouth, but it's not good form to rearrange other people's decoarations. Add to them is OK, but too much modification is likely to make someone unhappy.

We've Been Here Before

2006-10-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

I thought the address sounded familiar and I recognized it when we pulled up. I knew DBFA wasn't going to be too happy because the yard is down a flight of stairs. Hs knees get very cranky. But the space showcases a display like it was made for it. Somehow we managed to get in and out, both for set up and pick up without alerting anyone in the house, cranky knees and all.

Basic Black and a Little Dino Thrown in for Good Luck

2006-10-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

Does half-a-centuty sound older than 50 years? Actually to me they both are starting to sound pretty young. Yes, the Flamingess passed the 1/2 century mark several years ago. But I'm getting younger every year, just like Darryl.

The bats looked lovely for this dual occasion celebration. Thay've been quite busy this season. Several days earlier in the month providing ambience for a charity find raising event, now two days here and soon to fly off to another yard.

It was so dark in this yard that we couldn't really see what the display looked like until I downloaded the picture. I think the crows look very natural strutting around in the fallen leaves.

Award For The Best Smelling Yard

2006-10-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

Awwww.
One thing that will be said is "They loved their Mother" and I have pictures to prove it. Bet Mom does too.

I have no idea how they did it, but this was the best smelling yard I have ever had the pleasure of sneaking around in. I looked in the bushes for the air fresheners or scented candles, but all I found was a shabbily dressed skeleton (wearing a good hat though), a rough grave and a few Halloween creepy crawlers.

Up to 150 Now

2006-10-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

This is a busy flock. They're on their way to their third yard in as many nights. And amazingly enough, they're still all together (knock on wood). They are getting farther and farther from home though. They've made their way to Sunnyvale to announce yet another 50th birthday.

In contrast, the herd of cows (thongless this time) have been called into action to celebrate with a pair of younger birthday havers. DBFA and I both had to comment on the yard here. The ground was so hard we can't figure out how the grass manages to grow.

Stop and Then Go Go Go

2006-10-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

A few days off were welcome after a long string of every-other-day jobs. In order to actually have a whole night without working, we have to have two jobless days in a row. Since this self-employed flocker gets paranoid when we have too many days without work, I welcome the rest but then fret about business. However I was able to enjoy this little break because we have lots of work this week.

Yesterday's job was a sweet birthday flock that made a nice counterpoint to the ghost on the porch. I hadn't noticed the figure until I was at the door to leave my little door hanger bag of propaganda. I'm very glad it wasn't animated - the adrenalin rush from getting startled on the job makes it hard to sleep when I get back to the nest.

Last night we moved the flock from the ghost yard to a court yard. The birds were arrayed where everyone who lived in this complex had to practically wade through them. There was no way this birthday girl's age is a secret to her neighbors anymore. Since the sign was tucked away behind a rather large hedge when we returned, I would speculate that she wasn't really ready for that knowledge to be wide spread. Too late.

Sweet

2006-10-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

A happy anniversary greeting - he's doing good so far. Eventually, he will have to step up to jewelry, but for now a very public display of affection is working just fine.

Black and White and Orange All Over

2006-10-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

No problem getting this birthday display set up. We were able to work by the cheery glow of the Halloween pumpkin lights.

However, upon our return to pick up the flock, we were one bird short. It has taken 10 years to whittle the flock down from 54 to 29 birds. This is testimony more to how infrequently the penguins go out than anything else. And now that the company that manufactures the birds has gone out of business, we will no longer be able to provide a full penguin flocking. It's a bitch!

Long Distance Flocking

2006-10-15T17:25:00.000-07:00

The bats are out for the weekend. I donated their charming presence to participate in a fund raising event for the Ala Costa Center's annual Glow Ball, Halloween Night Golf Tournament and dinner. I hope they behave themselves.

While the bats are out enjoying themselves getting ready for a party. the Flamingess and DBFA headed out to Stocton to deliver this flock. When we returned to pick them up, they were all lined up in a conga line dancing in front of the sign. Well - not all of them, 5 birds had disappeared. We haven't worked in Stockton much, so I guess there are still people in the area who haven't stolen their fill of plastic lawn ornaments. I wonder what the karmic debt is for stealing plastic flamingos.

The Thong versus The Granny Panties - A Classic Battle

2006-10-13T16:16:00.000-07:00

This was a fun job. The real reason was to celebrate a birthday and anniversary but a casual passer-by wouldn't have guessed that from the sign. There has been a good natured debate between the sender and the recipient (her MIL) about proper under garments. Being the unrepentant $hit disturber that I am, I came up with a way to keep the debate alive. If you look close enough at the cow right in front of the sign, you will see she is wearing a very tasteful paisley thong (the Flamingess, regrettably, doesn't wear that size any more).

Here is a close up of the stylin' bovine. Apparently it was a big hit. I received a report that the recipient waited for several hours to catch us to help plot her revenge. We're ready when she is, although I will have to find a donor for the granny panties. There aren't any of those in my lingerie drawer.

Finally - All Caught Up

2006-10-10T20:48:00.000-07:00

The A's Detroit game just finished (the A's got killed) and I am just about to post about a current order. I've spent the last several hours editing the posts in draft limbo and creating new ones just to get caught up. Whew!!

I worked the Alameda Home and Garden Show this weekend. It was an unusually "soft: show. Traffic sucked! Between baseball, football, Fleet Week and probably several other activities competing for the public's attention, the show was a drag. But! I did book one order for an anniversary. This one.

I've also been working on a website for my sign business. Since I'm doing it on the cheap, and trying to modify the provided templates, it's slow going. If I can land a few more signs in the near future, I may actually spend a few dollars and have a professional fix it up. The proceeds from this panel will have to go towards the bills. Maybe next one. The colors don't show up too well here. In person, this panel make me want to rush out and buy a Hershey Bar. Yum!

Sleep, Wonderful Sleep

2006-10-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

I can't remember how long it's been since we have had so many nights in a row without work. The almost forgotten joys of going to bed before daylight. I still didn't get up any earlier, but I was a lot happier when I did get up. Wow! The only problem with this is I get out of the rhythm and am a zombie for the next couple of work nights.

After at least 3 full nights off (may have been 4 but I lost count) a challenging order. Two flights of stairs with cows and hearts (I told you, I really like the combination) to set up in a big planter outside a condo. We arrived and made the first hike up the stairs, me with the sign and DBFA with 5 cows. The person who placed the order was snoozing on the couch just inside the sliding glass doors. He rose up when he heard us to inform us that the birthday girl was spending the weekend at their other home. He wanted to take the critters there. We offered to load his SUV and were thirlled when he accepted. Yipee!! We didn't have to do 3 more trip up those stairs. No pictures, but no heart attacks either.

Another bonus to this was we didn't have to pick it up the following night. Great because we had deliveries in Gilroy and Los Gatos - the opposite direction. First stop was Los Gatos. A yard of nice clean roosters for Marcy's 40th. We were so grateful for the full moon. Los Gatos doesn't have a big investment in street lighting. It was dark, dark, dark.

Then another 40 miles south for another 40th birthday. No one was supposed to be home when we set up, but we were stealthy anyway. They could have come home early.

I'll Be Back

2006-10-05T23:15:00.000-07:00

I promise I'll get caught up one of these days. I have about 3 posts in draft form just waiting for me to get my lazy imagination in gear and finish them up. Then there are the pictures still in the camera to be downloaded and put into entries that hopefully don't end up in draft limbo.

What have I been doing with myself instead of tending to my blogging duties? Reading sign maker forums - 3 of them. The obsession has almost burned itself out and I'll be able to partake in moderation as soon as it does. Then I can get back to you all.

Here's a picture of my new sign company logo. Yes - I've made it official. Flocking by night, signs by day.

Bovine Love

2006-10-01T20:24:00.000-07:00

I can't believe we never set up this combination before. I think the cows and hearts look great together. This order had a card included naming everyone who sent their congratulations. There must have been 25 names. I bet it was a great party.

I See Pink Things

2006-09-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

Two flocks of flamingos to deliver before we face the sprinklers (I figured that they would still be running when we returned).

Since I am so far behind in my blogging, I am posting this on 10/10 even though the date says 9/30. That's why I know Gwen is going to call almost 2 weeks after her surprise to see if she can get me to tell her who sent her the surprise. Apparently the sender has a very good poker face and didn't give it away even under cross examination at the birthday party. I'm acquainted with the sender and I'm not surprised that (s)he is able to maintain, even under close scrutiny.

And then there's Booger. What can I say. Sometimes the love just shines through in the message. I have no idea if the birthday person figured out who sent this, but how many people call this person Booger? It's either totally obvious, or Booger needs to carefully consider his/her public image.

BTW: The sprinkers had stopped when we returned for the buzzards, but the birds were still wet.

All Wet

2006-09-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

The office personnel decided Dr G deserved special recognition for his birthday. The office is in a very nice business park, lots of green space. It really puts the park in business park. When we finally located the right suite, it was right where the sprinklers were running, and running, and running. Deciding that the sprinkers were obviously going to run forever, we waded in. I've had to work through the sprinkers before, but this is the soggiest I have ever gotten. You can even see the spray in the photo. The buzzards are really clean now. A clean buzzard is a happy buzzard.

Soaking wet and slightly chilled, we headed south to deliver a happy birthday to Zack. Considering my hot flashes, the heater is seldom on in the flamingomobile. This trip was an exception. Our feet were almost dry by the time we got back to the nest, but everything else was still damp.

Falling Through The Cracks

2006-09-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

Or to be accurate - it's sticking them in the cracks. This is a very clean, drought friendly yard. That means the only hope we have at all of getting a rod into the grouhd is to find a crack. This is easier if there is decent light but after a few minutes the eyes adapt and faint fissures appear. The habitat of the Northern California Desert Flamingo.

Ever Get The Feeling You'e Being Watched?

2006-09-24T18:40:00.000-07:00

I've been bad. No, not like that (those days are behind me, sigh). I've gotten so behind with my blogging that I can't remember the stories behind most of the pictures. At least I usually remember to take the camera so at least I have the picture. I have no idea even where this display was installed. I do remember the call I got from the sender. She was delighted. She and her daughter lured the birthday boy outside by telling him there was a dead cat in the street. Guess that's what attracted the buzzards.

I remember this one though. That's because while I was busy planting birds in the ivy I kept hearing noises around the side of the house. My first thought was we were about to get caught. But then I looked up and peering around the side of the house where two little masked faces. So cute!! I was obviously disturbing the wild life. We looked at each other for a few moments and then I made a noise and the raccoons disappeared back behind the house. Did I mention how cute they were peeking around the corner at me?

The next night we took the welcome to the neighborhood birds to wish Larene a happy birthday. This went unobserved by anyone in the area - or at least I remained blissfully unaware of observers.

The New Flamingomobile

2006-09-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

I finally finished the graphics for the new(ish) van. DBFA and I wanted to get it all installed before the Awning Queen's company picnic on Saturday. We had to squeeze it in between Chamber events. It was a very active week. Golf tournament, breakfast, Potomac cruise. I guess the best way to make sure business is good and the networking opportunities abound is to have a project that requires attention.

I think it came out good, and we are certainly getting looks in the road. Having the name writ large on the van also helps with the neighborhood watch ladies. You know the ones. Middle aged or older, insomniac, not crazy about the late night TV offerings, so they keep an eye on the goings on in their area. I'm always pleased to see the woman (why is it always a woman) in her house coat, curlers and scuffs who materializes behind the van, notepad in hand, taking down our license number "just in case". With Flamingo Surprise displayed in 12" letters, bright pink, on both sides of the vehicle we are obviously not trying to hide who we are.

Week of the Rooster

2006-09-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

A few days ago it was roosters for the landlord's wife. Tonight it was roosters for Kendra.

I find it interesting how this business goes. A critter will sit, neglected and unwanted for months and then all of a sudden it hits the top 10 in popularlity. Roosters are hot right now. This is a good thing because things get dusty in the warehouse and the only way they get cleaned is in someone's yard - sprinklers or rain. But if they don;t get out of their bin, they just keep getting dustier. The roosters are looking pretty good - clean and shiny.

It's the same way for communities, not the dusty part, the popular part. We won't have a delivery in a particular area for months and months and then for several weeks it will be the destination of choice. That's fine although the transition can be a challenge. That's because it seems that the popular places have to be as far away from each other as possible. And that's why we work at night - traffic avoidance.

Busy Saturday

2006-09-16T18:28:00.000-07:00

Lots of birds tonight. First we flocked Pam for her 42nd. Nothing like waking up in the morning to find the flamingos circling your tree.

Next stop - to deliver a sweet greeting from Mom. You know you're loved when your dear old mother sends you a flock of buzzards to commemorate her hours of labor.

Every year we set up a display for our landlord's wife on her birthday. It's been 9 or 10 years now and I've totally lost track of what critters have greeted her in the morning. Apparently the roosters hadn't been there before, but what will we come up with next year? I have to watch out next time though. I stuck one bird in the plant pot on a stand by the front door. According to the landlord, she opened the door and jumped because there was this great big bird looking at her. Not good to scare the customers.

It's My Birthday, So Flock You

2006-09-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

I don't have a yard, at least not one that anyone could drive a flamingo rod into. So for my birthday, I flocked someone else. Not that it was my idea. But I apparently share a birthday with Jim in Berkeley. He is a few years older than I am. Then my friend HJM took me and DBFA to dinner at The Fish Market in San Mateo where I stuffed myself on fried calimari, Garlic Prawns, sour dough bread (for soaking up the pool of garlic sauce), and creme brule. I may never eat again! It was wonderful.

Home to a nap and to digest some of this volume of food and we were out again to move the flock from Berkeley to Alameda. I was very grateful that both were easy yards because I was too distended to tackle anything challenging.

It has been a very well fed birthday. Last Sunday, while we were in Santa Cruz doing an awning sign installation at the Awning Queen's shop, the Awning Queen and her sweetie took us to lunch at Olitas, a very nice Mexican restaurant on the Santa Cruz Pier. Hmmmm - surf and turf enchiladas, rice (no beans - ahhhhh!! please! no beans!) and a pair of Negra Modelos (my favorite Mexican beer). Do my friends know me well or what? If they aren't going tp throw me a party where they feed me, they take me out and feed me. Do you sense a theme here?

Pulling an All-Nighter

2006-09-09T18:14:00.000-07:00

HJM and her wonder-dog Z came over for a visit yesterday. DBFA lured her north with promises of pasta loaf, one of his special recipes. Good conversation, good eats ad good wine, followed by watching Margaret Cho on DVD. DBFA fell asleep in the middle which was a good thing since we were facing about 5 hours of driving and flocking - 3 orders spread about as far from each other as possible and still stay in the Bay area. HJM and I stayed up and watched the end of Arsenic and Old Lace and then the Ladykillers (the original, not the horrible Tom Hanks remake). I finally got in a little nap during The Dog Whisperer.

I woke up at 1:00am and roused DBFA. We hit the road to Antioch with a load of teddy bears for a baby shower. The sender wanted something blue, (it's a boy) but we finally settled on something bear. We'll pick these up tonight.

Next stop was back at the warehouse to reload the flamingomobile. This time with flamingos and cows. Back on the road, now to San Jose, south south San Jose. Nice bright motion sensor lights to assist us with the "cowing" of this yard. Before I took the picture I dug out a baby wipe (the universal cleaning product) to clean the blood off one of the heifers. DBFA cut himself climbing the fence with cows the last time they were out and bled all over the herd. It's a dangerous job. When we picked up (on Sunday morning) we had a chance to chat with the birthday boy and his wife. I mentioned the message we put on the last cow sign (Party Til The Cows Go Home!) and the wife expressed her relief that they hadn't used that message because some of their guests would have taken it literally. She had to throw some of them out at 2:00 am as it was. Another good party!

Last stop in San Mateo to celebrate a Sweet 16. I figured we're lucky this was a Saturday and for a teen. If it had been a work day and for a typical Bay Area corporate worker, we would have been in danger of encountering the resident. We finished up on the lawn after 5:00am. We were able to pick up our newspaper wgen we rolled through the gates at home - 4-3/4 hours, we beat my estimate by 15 minutes.

Creative Writing

2006-09-08T18:37:00.000-07:00

We have a list of suggested phrases to use with the various critters. The most frequently used critters (the flamingos) have the longest list because the Flamingess has been forced to think about them the most. But the best ones come from the customers and I get to steal those to add to my list, This run of orders all had very creative messages, but with the exception of the cows (I came up with that one) they are very "inside" and so I won't be suggesting in the future.

We weren't going to be able to get into the yard through these gates. To circumvent this obstacle we were directed to climb over a bent-over wire fence at the side of the yard to install the cows. Sure glad there was a full moon. I couldn't get a good picture but the sign says "Happy Birthday - Party Til The Cows Go Home!" When we returned to pick up, it seemed like they may have come close to doing just that. We still had to climb the fence to get the cows out though and DBFA managed to damage himself and bleed all over the herd. It's a hazardous business.

This flock of flamingos were invited to help celebrate a wedding. The bride ordered them as a surprise for the groom and to brighten up the front garden for the weekend house party wedding guests. She also paid the adoption fee so she could take one to the church. It my have taken them 15 years to get around to it, but they did it up in style.

The last flock was invited to bring their smiling friends and to stay for 3 days. Someone wanted everyone to know Colin hit the big 4-oh. 3-days! Must have been a really good party.

Labor Day Weekend Labors

2006-09-05T17:33:00.000-07:00

Things have slowed down a bit on the flocking front, which makes for a nervous Flamingess. Fortunately the Awning Queen has had need of my sign services and that has helped cover the bills.

This flock landed in Berkeley to celebrate a 25th birthday. When we returned to pick up the birds, the party was just breaking up. From the way everyone was dressed, they'd been out someplace fine and fun. I haven't seen that many great pairs of shoes since the last time I cruised the shops in Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. Not that I actually wear great shoes any more. It's Crocs and sneakers for me.

We prefer to do our flocking in the wee hours of the morning, but the sender of this bunch of birds insisted on a daylight invasion. When we got there, the reason became very clear. There was no way to approach the house without being heard and the two resident dogs bark at everything the gets close. This includes their owners. They sleep in that room right at the front of the house and at this time of year the windows are open. Sneaky as we can be, they would have ruined the surprise before we even got out of the van. Good call. And just to prove her right, they raised all kinds of hell when we picked up the birds at anout 1:30am. Hope everyone got back to sleep OK.

DBFA and I installed our biggest sign project to date on Saturday of the Labor Day weekend. I don't have pictures yet, but I'm told that it has exactly the impact the property owner was looking for. There may be some rework to replace some letters that ended up with big bubbles, but I'm hoping not. Now that the awning is installed, the letters are about 15 feet in the air. Ladders and I have an uneasy relationship. I go up OK (sort of), but the coming back down - would someone please call the Fire Department to rescue this bird!

We had a two whole nights off and then these guys were called to work. They looked so cute foraging around in the landscaping in front of this very "sty"lish home.

Signs

2006-09-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago the Awning Queen had a job for me. Since her shop is in Santa Cruz, and I'm in Oakland she takes pity on me when she can and we meet somewhere in the middle to hand off the material. So a week ago Friday we got together for lunch in Santa Clara. It was a glorious day and we came this close to blowing off our respective responsibilities and playing hooky for the afternoon. But I had an attack of good behavior so we just spent about 2-1/2 hours sitting on the patio at Chevy's. It doesn't count as playing hooky if you don't change locations (new rule, just made it up).

I did the lettering over the weekend so I could deliver it to her on Monday. It was a perfect excuse to stop at HJM's and lure her into driving her new Saturn Sky Roadster over the hill to show it off. If the awning had been any bigger, it wouldn't have worked. The car is great but stowage is at a premium, especially since I insisted we make the trip with the top down (that uses up most of the trunk space). It was a perfect day for cruising through the mountains in a convertable. (Reminder to self - next time wear sunscreen.)

HJM took the Awning Queen for a ride around Santa Cruz. When they returned she had a glowing report on the car, but announced that HJM drives like a little old lady. True, true. The advantage to that was I didn't have to ride the passenger brake on the winding roads. I'm sure she'll get braver once she's put more miles on it (and after the first ding).

I've Been Neglecting You

2006-09-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

It's been busy. I know, that's really a poor excuse, but it's the only one I have. My mother, if she were still around, would tell you all that I have a very short attention span and you should expect me to lose interest in blogging and just abandon you all. There is a kernel of truth in that. I do take up interests, play for awhile and then move on. So, who doesn't? But that's not the case here (or least not yet).

First, we had company. DBFA's youngest daughter her husband and their 2 well grown children arrived for a visit. I actually wrote an entry about this but hit the wrong button and it disappeared into the ether. Didn't half piss me off, since it was humorous and and brilliantly written. They were here for 4 nights and we had a great time. TVB (the son) celebrated his 18th birthday while he was here. The family made him wait all day to open his gifts. Torture! At least they spent the day in San Francisco riding the cable cars and exploring the Embarcadero to keep him occupied.

DBFA got very creative in developing sleeping space for 4 extra people in our space. A lot of rearranging of stored furniture and "stuff" in the warehouse and he cleared an area big enough to set up a bed. We put down a piece of carpet I use in a trade show booth. Assembled the queen sized bed frame, dropped on the fold up futon and an air mattress. Hung a lamp on a post. Put a couple of towels in the warehouse bathroom (and a bucket under the leaky trap). TaDA!! Instant guest room. (We have all kinds of furniture stashed in the warehouse, left over from when we lived in a real house.) The kids camped down there. The adults took our room and we slept in the living room, me on the couch and DBFA in his recliner. Since we were working every night, this worked out very well.

The first night everyone was pretty tired, the VB's because it's a long drive from Portland OR to Oakland CA. and us because we'd been moving furniture, DBFA had been cooking his amazing chicken cacciatore and I'd been cleaning (not something I do very often). Everyone crashed right after dinner. We had a nap and then headed out to deliver the critters.

Second night dinner was late (Papa Murphy's pizza). The VB's were trapped in SF. They discovered it was a 2-hour wait to catch a cable car back to the BART. They discovered this at 6pm. They staggered in around 9pm. And we still have TVB's birthday to celebrate. By the time everyone was ready for bed, it was almost time for us to go to work. Luckily it was close to home.

Tuesday we all just sort of hung around.

The last day of the visit they ventured back into SF, but this time in their own car. They were back before dark and we sat down to a nice early dinner. The plan was to have an early night because we had a distant job and they were leaving in the morning. You can guess what happened. We all sat around the table and yakked for hours. DBFA and I sipped wine, and more wine, and then a little more wine. It got late and then later and then later still. But, what the hell, we have until dawn to deliver the cows. And that's exactly when we did it. I woke him at 4am, we staggered down to load up the flamingomobile and headed south. We do our work during the middle of the night in order to avoid commute traffic. We didn't make it on this morning.

I spent the next two days recovering. Must have been the house cleaning. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to it.

Who's Counting

2006-08-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

40 years! At one time in my life I would have considered this to be an impossible milestone. But DBFA and I are coming up on 30 years from when we started shacking up, as he so sweetly puts it. Our actual 30th wedding anniversary won't be for another 2-1/2 years but that's just a formality. Anyway - happy anniversary Rob and Lore. I hope we get to come back for your 50th.

The Place is Full

2006-08-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

One quick job for Sunday and we were back in the nest to enjoy our last chance to sleep in a bed until the end of the week. The VBs arrived on Sunday evening to visit for a few days. We gave up our bed to two of them and created a sleeping area in the warehouse for the other two. Since we spend much of any given night snoozing in the living room, it's really not that much of a change.

DBFA spent the afternoon creating a double batch of his (should be) famous chicken cacciatore to feed the weary travellers. After 12 hours on the road they were very glad to be out of the car and to stretch their legs. A tour of our elegant facilities followed by a congenial dinner, and a lot of running up and down stairs, finally everyone settled in for the night.

The VBs headed off on BART into San Francisco to ride the cable cars and explore Ghiradelli Square and Fisherman's Wharf. They'll return shortly and the apartrment will fill again with words and activity and we will celebrate the VB son's 18th birthday. Papa Murphy's pizzas (2 family size pies), a special piece of German Chocolate cake for the birthday boy (he is the only one who likes it), a chocoate cream pie for the rest of us, and ice cream of course. Then presents. They've made him wait all day for his gifts - sweet torture.

Hope they get here soon - I'm hungry.

How Did It Get To Be Friday Already?

2006-08-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

This week has just evaporated. Lots of meetings, a few signs, and several flockings. It actually started out pretty quiet. That good news-bad news thing again. Bad - the phones weren't ringing much. Good - catching up on real, during the nighttime sleep.

Early in the week a call came in to do a "welcome home" barnyard display in Crocket. Our first Crocket order. The daughter has been in Europe for 8 weeks and was due home Tuesday afternoon. The wife had flown over to meet up with daughter a week earlier but due to the travel alerts, etc. they didn't make connections. Mom was forced to spend a week in Paris and would be home the next afternoon. We loaded up a whole lot of cows, pigs and roosters and set up the farm to welcome daughter home. Also left a envelope with letters to make a name change on the sign so it could be altered to welcome Mom home.

We went back Thursday morning after the Chamber of Commerce Breakfast meeting to pick up the farm and discovered Mom trying to break into the house. She'd locked herself out. Between canvassing the neighbors for a spare key and prying open a window with a broomstick, she made time to give us an order to flock her sister that afternoon. Made a brief stop at an art supply store on the way back to the nest to pick up some airbrush paint (gotta learn how to use it sooner or later). Then loaded up and hauled this flock out to Danville. Made it back in time to make it to the Chamber of Commerce Ambassadors' lunch meeting. If there had been one more Chamber meeting for that evening, I could have had all 3 meals on the Chamber.

For all of this, I've managed to forget the camera. But for once I remembered the camera on my cell phone. Pictures came out pretty good.

Last night we finally got back onto our usual early morning delivery schedule.

We had help with this very cool penguin display. In order to get into this gated community, we had to have an inside (wo)man. She was warned that she would be called out in the early hours. Called from the cell phone when we pulled up at the gates. She buzzed us in and then jumped in her car to meet us at the destination so she could add the extra embellishments. When we finished and pulled away, she was starting to hang sno-cones on the garland linking the photos. After the office opened this morning we received a call from the birthday girl telling us how tickled she is. About 5 minutes later, our helper called to say how much fun it was. I warned her that we would be there at about the same time tonight to wake her so she can let us in again.

From Danville, we made the trek to deepest San Jose to surprise Dave. There was a little debate about whether to put Dave's age on the sign, but the sender decided to take a small measure of pity on the birthday boy and just announce the event and not the vintage. Apparently he expects to be found out as the perpetrator and wants to minimize the scope of the retribution.

An the final stop before getting home again plants this flock in San Leandro. I have a note on the order that says "mail pictures". I have absolutely no memory of promising to print and mail the photo, but since there is no email address, I must have. Now all I have to do is remember to actually do it. Anyone want to wager on how long it will take me?

So tonight we go out and pick up all this stuff, as well as the daytime flock in Danville. But that's all. No new deliveries. Not until Sunday morning. We will spend the next two days getting ready for a house full of company. DBFA's youngest daughter, her husband and their 2 (well grown) kids are driving down from Portland OR to visit. They arrive Sunday night and will stay until Thursday. We cleared a space in the warehouse to set up a sleeping area for 2 of them. The other 2 can have our bed and we will sleep where we usually sleep, in our recliners. I will just forgo the 2 or 3 hours of going to bed that I manage when we get home from flocking. It's going to be an apartment full - we have about 650 square feet, and that includes the office. Need to book a couple more orders for when they're here because I know the kids will want to ride along. Wouldn't be surprised if Mom and Dad want to as well, but only 2 can go at a time, and "No Giggling!"

Easing Into The Weekend

2006-08-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

We were warned that this house was going to be full of guests here for the anniversary party (50 years! Wow!) and sneaking into the yard would be difficult. The sender was also concerned that we would have trouble finding somewhere to plant the birds and asked if we checked out the yard beforehand. Of course we don't. Two round trips is enough. We take our chances and it almost always works out (I did say almost always). And this one worked out just fine. The hardest part was fitting everyone's name on the sign. Don and Joyce and their house full of out-of-towners get to enjoy the flock for two days.

The bats only stay out one day. Picking them up is the only reason we have to go out Saturday night. Almost a night off. For this one we can be out and back home again in less than 90 minutes.

Slick (the cat) has decided that he should be in my lap so the laptop will have to go. Cat hair isn't good for the keyboard so I'll post this and turn my attention to annoying him.

Can't Win 'em All

2006-08-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

This morning's rounds were awkward. DBFA and I didn't talk through our pick up and delivery order, a ritual we usually adhere to. It looked like an easy one, but those are the ones that jump up and get you. Loaded up the bats and smiley faces, threw in a few spare flamingos, just in case, punched up the pick up address on Stella and we were off. My first indication that this was not going to be smooth ride came when we pulled up at the flamingo flock. Apparently DBFA assumed we would deliver the bat/smile combo first. He was tired and a little cranky so his observation that this was not what he expected was delivered in a way guaranteed to ruffle my feathers. Hmmph!! Now we're both a little cranky.

Birds on board, I put in the next flamingo address and discovered that we should have gone for the bats first. So I admitted that he was right. That didn't seem to thaw the atmosphere much. I spent the drive up up up into Oakland doing breathing exercises and releasing irritation. The destination for the flock turns out to be uninviting. No really good place to set up and the spot I picked wasn't in accordance with DBFA's opinion. We went with mine which didn't lighten the atmosphere any.

I spent the drive back toward Lake Merritt doing breathing exercises and releasing irritation. We were almost there when the reason for the aggravated vibrations was revealed when DBFA commented "I wonder how many of the bats we broke?". The way they're rigged is a little fragile and he was concerned that having to load the flamingos on top did some damage. That hadn't occurred to me, and it should have. He was right again (damn!). All bats were in fine shape so the drive home was more sociable.

The first phone call after we opened this morning came from the flockee way up up up into Oakland. I was informed that the birds were ready to be picked up and I would find them piled up by the garage. No reason given. He just said it was a surprise. Guess they are among the people don't like surprises. Fortunately, we don't run into many of those.

Quick Change

2006-08-10T20:10:00.000-07:00

We loaded up the flamingomobile with roosters and cows and started out on the set up and pick up marathon. It became obvious that the vehicle maladies were still uncured as we made out way to Danville to drop off the roosters. As we headed down the highway toward the next destination, the van's hiccups got bad enough we decided to head back to the nest and transfer the herd to the Cruiser.

So, cows loaded up in the other vehicle, we started off again. This order was headed for Saratoga. In the transfer, the camera was left behind. When we got back this morning to pick up, the sign had been moved so it didn't make it into the picture. Too bad, because the message was very cute "We Herd the Moos. Steve is 65. No Bull!" I considered moving it back into the picture, but the sprinklers were running. Even though it was a nice warm night, there is still a limit to how wet I'm willing to get - fussy, I know.

After delivering the cows, we still had to pick up the flocks in Capitola and Menlo Park. Leaving Capitola DBFA needed a nap, so the Flamingess drove back over the mountain. We switched back at Menlo Park. Between the unplanned trip back to the warehouse to switch vehicles and the extended territory, we got home at 6:30 am, finishing the drive during the beginning of the morning commute. Sure don't miss spending my weekday mornings in that mess.

Yesterday the flamingomobile went back to the car doctor and was finally cured. We road tested it on an easy run to Berkeley to deliver this flock celebrating a birthday and a new home. Rachel had moved in that very day. Hope she waters the lawn occasionally, because the previous tenant didn't. Even the weeds were tough. A big circle to Danville and Saratoga for pick ups and it was home at the delightful hour of 3:30. Practically the middle of the afternoon. A delight marred only by me having a meeting at 8:00am. Good thing the group doesn't really care if I've showered, as long as I'm not too stinky.

Bill-bo Baggin'

2006-08-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

Why do I do it? I know it's going to be grueling, not just once, but two nights in a row. "Do what?" you might ask. Then again, you might not care, but I'm going to tell you anyway because I have lots of pictures to post and if I don't put in enough text, it screws up my sidebar. The what is take out of territory orders. The why is obvious - for the money of course. This whole pay-the-bills thing.

I was so surprised when we came back to get this display and everything was still there. The neighborhood and yard showed all the signs of potential theft or vandalism. Broken beer glasses, discarded cigarette packs, young people dressed in black leather wandering the streets at 2:00 in the morning. But history has shown the most suspect looking neighborhhods turn out to be the safest. It's the high priced territory where we lose the most. Go figure! ANyway - I think the sweetheart dinos are very cute. Hope "Baby" thought so too.

The dinos were close to home, but this flock landed in Capitola - 60+ miles south. And it's a tough 60 miles, about 15 miles of it winding over the Santa Cruz mountains. If you look closely, you'lll note a deer looking out over the flock. There's another one hidden behind the sign. I wonder if these faux deer help keep the real thing from eating the roses?

And we made one more stop on the way home. This time in Menlo Park, to flock another birthday yard. The full moon was so bright that DBFA thought it was getting to be dawn even though it was only 4:30am (did I just say "only"?!).

The long nights really aren;t that bad, except when they are followed by some compelling need to be up and in public at 7:00 or 8:00 am. Lack of sleep makes DBFA a grumpy flocker, and the Flamingess doesn't look her best with bags under her eyes. But in the trade off between bags and bills, I'll take the bags.

How Hard Can It Be?

2006-08-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

Summer is officially here. Yards are turning to concrete. Actually, one of them really was concrete. The order came from out of town and the sender admitted that she had never been there. We arrived with a pack of dinosaurs and found this. Not even a plant pot. We took the dinos home again and I emailed the bad news. Figured it was just too rude to call at 3:30 on a Sunday morning. I did call later to make sure she knew it was a non-surprise.

In other yards we're working with the effects of the baking summer sunshine. When it is nearly impossible to drive a sharpened flamingo stake into the hard packed dirt, poking it into the heart of a weed will usually do the trick. Fortunately no matter how dry a yard gets, there will always be weeds. They're not always distributed in the most aesthetically pleasing configuration, but flockers have to work with what we're given. Last time we were in this yard it was a riot of color, full of nasturtiums with leaves the size of dinner plates. Now it's weeds, bats and buzzards.

After concrete (the real stuff) and concrete of the dirt variety, it was nice to find grass. This wasn't one of those perfect lawns, but it was a whole lot better than anything else we had encountered that morning. And Grandma was so cute when we picked it up. She appeared at the door, cloud of white hair and a great big smile, and thanked us repeatedly. I bet the granddaughter who arranged this is up for a better deal in the will.

Felicitating and Facilitating

2006-08-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

We had an unusually narrow window of time for the installation of this flock - between 3am and 5am. We pulled up at just about 3:15, perfectly gauged at the end of the pick up run. I spotted more rabbits out in Redwood Shores (like you're really interested in the urban rabbit count). I'd love to have 40 or 50 of these in my critter inventory (rendered in lifelike plastic, of course).

After grabbing a couple hours sleep, the alarm ripped me out of an interesting dream. I was just arriving backstage (somewhere in England) and was marveling that the female speaker on stage had such a deep rich voice. A boy dressed as Eeyore (but in the shape of a boot in a suit. Hey! I said it was a dream) was being handed over the lighted glass prop case to a jester. I'm still wondering what was going on. But a networking meeting was calling. I didn't have the option of blowing it off and burrowing back into my pillow since I'd been drafted as a facilitator at this morning's "Power Partner" event. A fast bath and a BIG cup of coffee got me out the door. More coffee liberally ingested at the breakfast kept me lucid. It was a lively meeting - not everyone at my table got a lot out of it, but at least 7 of the 10 made some very valuable connections - 70% success is pretty good.

Since I got home, the only thing I've managed to accomplish is to receive a shipment of sign supplies (big job coming up next week), read my daily comics and internet forum postings, fiddle with my blog (I really want a new template, but have no idea how to make one and lack the discretionary funds to pay someone to do it for me), and post this fascinating tribute to my self-absorption. I think I'll go make myself a drink and subside into television induced torpor.

What I Did on My Day Off

2006-08-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

Wow! Eight hours straight. It's been so long since I've spent that much time in bed that I kept waking up, looking at the clock and then dropping back off to sleep. Even DBFA managed to get in a decent night. Other triumphs of the day included figuring out how to vectorize a bitmap image in Adobe Illustrator and getting the flamingomobile back from the dealer.

(Techno-geek alert - if computer stuff bores you, skip this paragraph) If you're expert in Illustrator, or have no idea what it is, you can't appreciate how excited I was when it worked. Yipee (jumping up and down, clapping hands). I managed to take a picture sent to me on my cell phone, send it to my email. Convert it from color .jpg to black and white .bmp in Photoshop, then live trace and clean it up in Illustrator. Final step, import it into the sign making program to verify it will cut. Yes!! Exciting because I solved a puzzle (I love puzzles) and because it saved me a bunch of money - I won't have to buy the software upgrade for my vinyl cutter. While I was GoogleTalking to MM, she tried to walk me through the steps, but I finally broke down and when out to buy a "how to" book for Illustrator, which is sort of cheating.

And the flamingomobile cost bunches less that we feared. Turns out the first part DBFA replaced here before turning it over to the dealer was defective. Since that part was new, it was the last part the dealer checked.

The only failure of the day was with a bank. I am trying to open a bank account for the International Lawn Greetings Association (ILGA). The 3 signers to be on the account are all in different states. That makes it a little awkward to get us all in the branch to sign the papers. So far, no one has been able to figure out how to do this. Back to the drawing board.

Back to work this morning. The crows landed in Redwood Shores, way out at the edge of the bay. Last time we were in that neighborhood, it was overrun with rabbits. This morning we saw only one. But there are lots of stop signs. Every intersection in the residential area is a 4-way stop. I'm sure the morning commuters appreciate it, but the night flockers don't. Ah well, that should be the worst of our problems.

And on the other side of the Bay, a flock in Pleasanton. We arrived in the vicinity of the address and couldn't find the right house number. As I was getting ready to call the sender (at 1:30am) I noticed that I had entered the wrong street name. There's another one to put on the list of ways to screw up an order. Sure glad I noticed before I made the call. Especially glad the wrong street didn't have the same house numbers (but they were very close). I hate those early morning phone messages from either a puzzled home owner or an irate sender. And the leaping out of bed, throwing on clothes and rushing out to correct the mistake is a morning rush I'd rather live without. We moved over a couple of blocks and landed the flock in the right yard.

Thus ended another successful day.

Getting Caught Up

2006-08-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

It has been busy busy busy around the nest recently. The Flamingess has fallen behind in the critical task of posting work pictures and I know my readers are suffering for it. So I am going to cram four day's worth of daily trivia into one post. Now's your chance to bail out.

Saturday, it seemed like we were hauling stuff constantly. The usual early morning schedule picking up the previous day's work and delivering these flocks.

A few hours sleep and it was time to start again with two daylight deliveries. We seldom work in the light of day. Sometimes I feel distinctly mole-like. A flamingo flock delivered for a party, but no sign (and no picture - I wasn't quite awake yet and the camera didn't even occur to me. After unloading the birds, it was back to the warehouse to load up for another party. Since we are still without the big flamingomobile, the Cruiser is taking on some real challenges - all this stuff was for one place. When it came time to pick it all up, we even managed to squeeze in the flamingo flock. The birds had to be stuffed in through the windows because opening the tailgate would have resulted in an avalanche of hearts and frogs. In the afternoon, HJM came over in her shiny new Saturn Sky roadster - mmmmm, sweet. We took a short joy ride and spent a few hours wandering the Alameda Art & Wine festival. Drove home with the top down. A convertible makes a perfect menopause car. Of course, since I am such a mole and have totally lost any sun avoidance skills I may have once possessed, I fried my nose and neck.

There were two jobs for Sunday, but since DBFA and I were off to Paradise to surprise my daughter (MM) for her birthday, I drafted some friends to make the trek to Morgan Hill with flamingos and to stick a herd of cows in Oakland. Even so, we still made a pick up on the way out of town. A flocker's work is never done. After a lovely visit with MM, CJ (grandson) and several members of MM's family, we made it home in time to have dinner, take a nap and go back to work.

If the phone doesn't ring within the next 7 minutes, we will actually have tonight off. No pick ups, no deliveries, and a chance to get a full night's sleep. Wow!

Compartmentalization

2006-07-31T22:33:00.000-07:00

This is a totally personal exploration. If you want amusing, skip this post and come back another day.

Compartmentalization: This is something I am an expert with. My ability to block off my emotions is well known, if not well loved, by my friends. A significant example of this not all together admirable skill is revealed in some of the events following my recent introduction to my daughter. My husband, who is occasionally lacking in those skills that smooth out social interactions, was telling my daughter's parents (within the hearing range of my daughter) how he would inquire over the years, whether I ever thought about her, how she was doing, etc. As I listened, he told her family that when asked, I would tell him that I didn't wonder about her or 'care' what happened to her. I can't really dispute that this is what I expressed to him, but it doesn't really reflect the full reality. It isn't as simple as me not wondering, it's that the wondering has been very carefully confined within manageable compartments.

Compartmentalized: the fact that I became pregnant at age 17 and was at least realistic enough to know that I was not fit to raise a child.

Compartmentalized: While I enjoyed dating the boy/man who impregnated me, there was no way I was going to marry him, both for my sake and for his. He didn't deserve what he would have been in for and I didn't love him enough to even try. Now (only since I met my daughter) I occasionally second guess myself about never having told him I was pregnant, but it was the only decision I could have made at the time. I doubt if I would change that, even if I could. I wonder, only a little, whether my daughter should know her birth father (sperm donor). Mostly, I realize I didn't really know him well enough to want to deal with having him involved. This is probably incredibly selfish, but there is it is.

Compartmentalized: I gave birth to a baby girl, and believe(d) I gave up any right to her life as soon as I signed the papers putting her up for adoption. That her parents are so fantastically generous to have made the effort to reunite us takes my breath away. It is way beyond anything I could have ever imagined, let alone hoped for.

Compartmentalized: The fervent hope that she would be adopted by a loving family and have a good life versus the fear that she would be lost in a horror of foster homes, abandoned and unloved. Justification or blame. The die was cast.

Compartmentalized: the belief that she was much better off with a family who wanted a baby than with a dispensation teenager and her equally dispensation mother (I loved my mother but she was, in many ways, a real mess).

Compartmentalized: the possibility that my "given up for adoption" child would suffer from abandonment issues. This fear reinforced because I haven't really managed to completely overcome my own. Therapy, a stable circle of friends and a committed marriage have helped, but the reflex is still lurking under the surface. One of the first anxieties, when facing the first conversation with her, was does she hate me for giving her up?

I never regretted giving my daughter up for adoption. No matter what situation she ended up in, it had to be better than what she would have experienced if she had stayed with me. Since I have had the privilege of meeting her family; the couple who took her as their own, the children that they bore that became her sisters, one of her uncles and a grandmother, I can only be thankful that she had the opportunity to be raised in a stable, sane and loving family. The amazing fact that she grew up to be so much like me is mind blowing. Fortunately, it's the better parts of me.

She is bright and brave and adventurous. Talented, intelligent, funny and a great mother (yes, I not only got a daughter, I got a grandson as well). She is confident, caring and socially concerned. She loves sunflowers (my favorite flower), won't eat cooked carrots (me either), has fat fingers, no waist, narrow hips and trim thighs like her mother (sorry about that). I am amazed at how much alike we are and what a delightful individual she is.

The compartment that held the idea of the child that I bore but never knew, is cracking. As it shatters, I discover that love; unquestioning, unconditional, soul-deep love is inside. I couldn't let myself recognize it while she was in my body, I wasn't allowed to see her once she left my body. I don't believe I have to right to claim in now, 38 years later. But there it is. Amazing!

Ransom

2006-07-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

Curses - the new (to us) flamingomobile is in the shop. Not just our shop, or Frank's shop*, but the Dodge dealer's shop. Please, cross your hands over your wallet and pray for me. DBFA was a mechanic in a former life. A real life, fix anything on a car or truck mechanic. But those were the days when cars and trucks were actually mechanical. Nowadays they are mostly computers. So after working his way through the few mechanical things there were to work his way through, and conferring with Frank, he had no choice but to turn to the computer jockeys at the dealership. I won't know how many extra flockings we'll need to hustle up to make bail until maybe Monday. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it came to within 50 cents of the insurance settlement we are expecting from the accident. The Universe always knows when there's a little extra cash coming in and helps find a way to spend it.

* Frank, our neighbor in the flamingo compound, is an auto mechanic. He and DBFA collaborate on our various vehicle repair projects.

Meanwhile, we are doing our deliveries in the PT Cruiser. And while the Universe has a sense of humor about how it spends my cash, it at least has been showing some mercy by making sure any day's orders will actually fit in this vehicle.

Of course, I can fit some amazing things in my Cruiser. I'm making a sign for over Frank's shop and needed to pick up a 2-ft by 8-ft piece of acrylic from Tap Plastics. The guy who cut the sheet for me came out to help load it in my "truck" and was sure it wouldn't fit. Silly boy! I had 32 buzzards, a 3-ft by 4-ft sign, and my usual assortment of "must have" stuff (kleenex, sweater, ad boxes, water bottle, empty Wendy's bags, map book, folding rolling carry-all - you know, the essentials) in the back, adding an 8-ft slab of plastic - no problem. He was amazed when the tailgate actually closed.

The last couple nights of flocking have been pretty routine. I did have to actually look at a map book and plot our courses, since we left Stella in the van and the van is being held captive at the dealer. DBFA and I are so spoiled having her tell us where to go. So for lackof anything amusing to say, I'll just post the pictures and go have lunch.

The Pink Must Be Rubbing Off

2006-07-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

The Flamingess woke up yesterday morning with one blood shot eye. To begin with, I attributed this to the previous night's over indulgence in the juice of the grape. Yes, I overtrained a bit. It was hot and the wine was cold. DBFA does the driving, so I only had to be able to stagger onto the lawn and pick up birds without tripping on the curb or falling over into a flower bed. Only one eye, though? Over the course of the day, it got grittier and squintier and more bloodshot. Yup, by evening there was no doubt about it - pink eye. Nothing makes a girl feel more glamourous. You can be sure I am NOT attending the Chamber of Commerce Board Meeting this afternoon. "Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm the Flamingess and I plant flamingos. Flamingos the exact color of my right eye." It won't keep me from my haircut appointment, though.

Only one job last night. Sometime after we left the flock and the birthday girl got up this morning, the sender of this greeting was going to sneak over and add one more flamingo. This is a personal bird that makes the rounds (sounds sort of slutty, doesn't it?). It will be all dressed up in ribbons and bows. I hope the flock doesn't get jealous and start demanding clothing of their own. If they do, you can bet they'll all want something different and where does one find 150 individual flamingo outfits. And think of the laundry! No! I'll just have to put my foot down - they stay naked!

Minor Relief

2006-07-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

Like much of the country, it's wicked hot here. Today is a little better, it's only 100 in the warehouse. Yesterday at this time it was 110. Needless to say, we are NOT working in the warehouse. We have a small A/C unit in the living room and that is were we've been for the past 4 days. When I have to venture in to the office to run a credit card or to plug the laptop into the printer, I don't linger.

That said, we have it pretty good. I spent Saturday and Sunday trying to take an order for last night. When I was finally able to get the details from the sender at 9:30 last night, she told me that it had been 114 at her place, she has no A/C (but the power was out in the neighborhood so that didn't make much difference,) and all of the stores were out of ice - in other words - it sucked! I hope Marlis appreciates her efforts, she just couldn't miss her best friend's birthday. See how sweet it turned out to be?

Maybe it was the heat, but neither DBFA or I could sleep last evening. He managed about 2-hours and I finally dropped off after Midsomer Murders at midnight. We were up to start work at 1:00am and the temp was finally down in the low 70's. Getting in the Flamingomobile and turning the fan up was heavenly - cool at last! As we moved inland, it didn't stay that way. We had the A/C on before we dropped off the buzzards, but were able to turn it off again as we headed back west (the fan stayed on high though).

Everyone is sleeping with their windows open. That makes our job harder, but we're good! Very sneaky people! The order for this flock of flamingos came in through the singing telegram company so once again, we didn't have any information about the presence of dogs. As DBFA was planting the first handful of birds, we heard a sharp snort from inside - ALERT! - dog snuffling for intruders. We managed to get everything set up with only one additional soft woof. The creature sounded big - sure glad (s)he approves of our work. If this beast decided to set off the alarm, the whole neighborhood would have been in the street in their 'jammies.

The last stop was on the Peninsula, which means we got to cross the Bay. The coolest spot we found during the whole night was right in the middle of the San Mateo Bridge. Even with the widening, there isn't really room to pull over, oepn the windows, lay back the seats and spend the rest of the night, so we kept on going.

I'm not convinced that we weren't observed doing this set up. The birthday boy may be hard of hearing, but the curtain was pulled back a little bit - someone may have been peeking. Hi Hal! Happy Birthday.

It's Not the Heat, It's the Humi... No! It''s the Heat!

2006-07-22T18:38:00.000-07:00

As a night worker, I don't get out much in the daytime, but today I decided I needed a little retail therapy. An important birthday is approaching, actually two of them (Hi MM and CJ), and I need to come up with at least a few little tchotchkies to mark the occasions. I like to celebrate my birthday, and therefore my friends and family not only get to (they better) properly celebrate with me, but they have to put up with me celebrating theirs. It's my belief that everyone should get a toy, maybe lots of toys, no matter how old they are. So - the Flamingess ventured out of her air conditioned nest to shop. OMG! Between the hot flashes and the intense heat, I spent most of my time steaming the merchandise. I'm glad the general rule is "You break it, you buy it" and not "You sweat on it, you buy it". Being a good consumer citizen, I tried to drip only on hard surfaced items. No sense leaving soggy seconds for someone else. (Makes you think twice about what you handle, doesn't it?)

I should have expected it to be intense since it was in the 70's at 2:00am while we were out gathering the flocks and setting up this one. Wearing shorts was good, but flip flops, while cooler than sneakers, would just make too much noise. Maybe tonight I'll go barefoot (if the pavement isn't too hot.)

Even the cat is inside, draped like a rag over any cool surface he can find. I'm applying liberal doses of Bacardi Gold and Diet Coke. It might not make me cooler, but I certainly don't care as much.

Paint the Town Pink

2006-07-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

So far, all of our work for this weekend (starting with these two for today) is focused in one town. We will be hopscotching flocks of flamingos all around San Leandro. This will make for a couple of very easy nights.

The start of the weekend is not the best time to be struck with a crippling case of boring. To anyone who visits from Michele's, I apologize. I hope I'll be better tomorrow, If not, just stab me with a flamingo and put me out of my misery.

This Little Piggy

2006-07-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

My mind is blank. I can't think of a single creative of amusing thing to say. That could be in part due to the hour of sleep between the delivery/pick up rounds and the New Member Orientation Breakfast at the Chamber of Commerce this morning.

Rather than struggle to be entertaining, I think I'll go take a nap.

Don't Build Your Awnings from Hemp if You Love Me

2006-07-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

The Flamingess has a sideline doing some work for her VBF (very best friend), the Awning Lady. Monday afternoon, DBFA and I packed up the necessary equipment and headed to the awning shop in Santa Cruz to install signage on a hemp awning. I guess the customer figured they should have a hemp awning since they're a hemp store - picky, picky. Because the hemp fabric is stretchy, it was decided to add the signage after the fabric was installed on the frame. The lettering was created from a material called ThermoFlex, which is a heat transfer (iron-on) product. It requires a hot iron and firm pressure to apply - easy to do if you can put the fabric on a hard surface. Not so easy when the fabric is laced onto a frame. But we are very creative people. DBFA crawled inside the awning and held a board against the back side of the fabric and I pushed with the iron as hard as I could from the outside. Three hours, a lot of sweat and an amazingly small amount of swearing later we had this on 2 sides and the address on the front. I sure hope it sticks.

After our afternoon of creative sign installation, we had an easy night of flocking. We were able to pick up the cows in Capitola after dinner with the Awning Lady and her husband and before coming back to our own side of the hill. Then a good nap before the start of our rounds. First stop was to deliver this flock in Pleasant Hill. The only thing left to do ws to pick up the "Thank You" in Pittsburg. That yard had been hit hard - 5 items stolen. I left a note asking the resident to keep an eye out in the neighborhood for any of the missing items. Then as we pulled away I spotted a red object in the gutter about half a block away. Sure enough, there was one of the missing hearts. The next day I got a call, one more heart had been retrieved from one of the neighbor's front yard. There's hope, maybe the thieves will get careless and display the rest of the booty where it can be snatched back.

Last night (this morning) was another easy run. DBFA and I both pretty much crashed after dinner, I slept through The Closer, one of the only TV shows I actually look forward to seeing. But I'm not really about to whine about getting 4 hours sleep, there will be reruns. Grandpa had his birthday commemorated with this lovely flock of Buteo plasticus. Then a trip back to Pleasant Hill to gather the flamingos (and they were all there - Hurray!). In bed by 4:00am and I didn't get up until 10:30am.

Pick 'em Up and Put 'em Down

2006-07-17T12:30:00.000-07:00

Midnight to 6:00am, and just a hair under 300 miles. That was our night. Even with all the travelling and making 5 stops, we left with the nest with only 10 frogs in the van, and returned with a handful of hearts, 58 flamingos and one sign. Basically, we spent the night moving stuff around. It's good when things work out like that.

Picking up the welcome home display from yesterday gave us the rest of the stuff we needed to install this 'Thank You'. A wedding celebration (I can't remember if it was a shower, reception, or just a super party) had taken place here on Sunday, and the bride wanted to make sure everyone knew how pleased she was. I think this did the trick.

Then on to Livermore to pick up the cows. When we arrived it was apparent that the neighborhood teens had been amusing themselves. They tried to create a bovine orgy. It looked more like there had been a battle instead and the victorious were standing over the vanquished. At least everything was till there.

We resurrected the fallen cows, loaded everything up and headed to Capitola. As we neared the bottom of the hill at Santa Cruz, it went from clear and warm to foggy. Considering that the temperatures at the first part of our journey were in the 80's, the sudden plunge into the damp was a bit of a shock. You can see the moisture in the photo.

Mooving Around

2006-07-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

Our first stop was in Vallejo to set up this welcome home. The traveler has been in Africa for several weeks and the happy spouse wanted something special for the homecoming. Flamingos are as African as any of my animals get, it's difficult to find a good plastic rhino. These are a bit smaller and almost as pink as their Kenyan cousins.

Down the freeway to Livermore to pick up the cows and drive them to a new corral. I should have taken a picture of the herd. Every one of them was laying on its side. There must have been a frenzy of cow tipping during the party. Or maybe they all got drunk and passed out. It's hard to tell what goes on when we aren't watching. Got them all up and straightened some bent rods so everyone would stand tall for their next event.

On the way home, we picked up the frogs. The sprinklers had obviously been on not too long before our arrival, so they were all wet - quite lifelike. And now they're nice and clean. This is why I don't encourage people to turn off their sprinklers when they know we're comimg - it's a free animal wash.

I had DBFA get me up at 10:00am (about 2 hours earlier than I fantisize I could have slept) because I was going to do a signage installation in Santa Cruz. we were scheduled to meet the Awning Lady at 12:30 at her shop. The call came in just after 10:00 asking if I had enough material to cut a second set of letters, so we could do both sides of the awning. Nope, but material can be had Monday morning and I can be ready to install both sides by Monday afternoon. This will actually work out well for us, because we have a job in Capitola tonight (all of this - Santa Cruz and Capitola - is 60+ miles away). So Monday afternoon I'll head down to do the installation, hang out for awhile, pick up the Capitola order and head home. It's not so great for the Awning Lady though because she and her crew have to work around this enormous awning, already installed on its frame, all day tomorrow.

Flamingos and Frogs and Cows, Oh My!

2006-07-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

For a night with four stops, we managed to get through it in very short order. That's due simply to the luck of the route. It looks like the whole weekend's work will be that way even though we will be covering territory from Vallejo to Capitola.

Our first stop was to drop off a yard full of giant frogs. I love these critters but they just don't show up to their best advantage in the photos. It's that green on green thing. It's a perfect frog yard - the lawn is laid out like a pond, surrounded by shrubs and low plants. Not only do the frogs display well, but they are somewhat protected from passing critter-thieves. Every time they go out I fret a little because once these are gone, there will be no more. The mold has worn out.

Next, we delivered a herd of cows to a home right on the edge of wine country out in Livermore. The sender mentioned that the birthday girl has been experiencing a lot of wild life living here; wild turkeys, gophers, coyotes, deer, so why not cows? These are going to be very busy cows. They moove to another Livermore yard in the morning and then to Capitola for a Monday surprise. Rollin' rolllin' rollin', keep them dogies rolling, Rawhide! That tune is now stuck in my head!

Segue: A few years ago the Learning Annex offered a class in bullwhip. I was so tempted, but couldn't get any of my friends interested. You'd think that they might consider it just in self defense if they figured I was going to do it. I didn't go and as near as I can tell, it hasn't been offered again. Now that Rawhide is on my mind maybe I'll order this. But then where does one buy a bullwhip? EBay, I guess. Since that I am no longer in corpoorate management, I don't have as much use for this skill as I once did.

The final act of the night was to move the flamingo flock from San Ramon to Castro Valley. There was one bird missing from the flock, so it's good we brought extras. It annoys me that we have to plan on theft. The flock will stay on this yard for two days. They are scattered among many plants in the ground and in pots. It looks great. I think the flocks always look good, but some installations are more aesthetically pleasing than others. This one looked really good. I couldn't get a good angle to show it in the photo. I wonder if the sign will prompt any honking? If that line is gone when we get back Sunday night, I'll know.

Thursday evening I attended a NAWBO-SF. dinner. It is always a good networking event, and this one in particular was excellent. The featured speaker was Laura Zahtila, the owner of a boutique winery in Calistoga. We had the chance to taste her wines (excellent) and hear the story of how she got into this business (fascinating). Also featured were handmade chocolates and other sweet treats to enhance the wine tasting experience. Any event with wine and chocolate and a room full of middle-aged women is guaranteed to be a success. Dinner was good too, but definitely not the main attraction.

In keeping with the wine theme, this afternoon DBFA and I went over to Rosenblum's to pick up our wine club selections and do a little tasting. (I do this occasionally with my friend HJM. We can make an afternoon of it.) The tasting room was packed but we found a place at the counter. We started with the Chateau La Paws, Cote Du Bone (the owner is a veterinarian as well). It was so excellent that we quit right there, bought a couple bottles of that and a few of the Vintner's Cuvee Zinfandel (always a good deal), picked up our wine club package and called it a day. Hmmm - what shall we have for dinner so I can open one of the bottles of zin?

Easing into The Weekend

2006-07-14T12:59:00.000-07:00

Only one display out last night and I forgot the camera (I miss my memory)/ (I added the photo) This order came in through another company (we do the flamingoing for a local singing telegram service) so one of my standard questions didn't get answered - "do they have a dog?" We ask that question, not because we are worried for our safety, but because we don't want the dog alerting the household that something weird is happening in the yard. We pulled up out front about 3:00am (yes, we over slept and got a late start). A light was showing in an inside hallway but there wasn't anyone visible. As I unloaded the sign I heard a quick whining noise and spotted what looked like to top of a dog's head, a big dog, just the ears and eyes above the windowsill watching us.

Uh oh! We're about to be busted. This guy is going to raise hell because strangers are messing around in his territory.

Not another sound, and the eyes and ears disappeared never to be seen again. Maybe I imagined it. Or this reinforces my theory that the dogs sense that we are not a threat and are up to something good. More often than not, dogs who are reported to bark at everything let us get away with performing our duties without making a sound. But we never count on it.

Deja Moo

2006-07-12T14:34:00.000-07:00

We had Monday and Tuesday off. It takes two days in a row with no work to score one full night's sleep. Ahhh - eight straight hours - I was shooting for ten, but my middle-aged bladder was having none of that nonsense. Today is kind of groggy, because for some mysterious reason neither one of us could get going on a decent nap last night. After suffering through a couple of lame movies that failed to put us out, we gave up and went to work about 1:30am. Pierce Brosnan was too cute to sleep through, and Jack Lemmon too annoying. Don't know what DBFA's reasons were.

The first stop was back to one of the perfect lawns we visited last week. It was flamingos for the daughter's birthday then. This time it's cows for Dad. Someone in the family better come through for Mom when her birthday rolls around.

After dropping off the herd, we followed the moon to the next stop. We missed the night for the 100% full moon, but one night past it was still impressive. Bright enough that the sky was blue and only the very brightest stars had any chance of being seen.

The birthday girl has already called to try to find out who sent her this flock. As usual, it was sent under promise of anonymity. When she heard that, she decided the best course of action would be to take a glass of wine out, sit among the birds and wait for the perpetrator to show up to view their deed. I think that's a good plan, even if they don't show.

He Did It!

2006-07-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

I just have to mention this: Kyle at One Red Papeclip has done it. Traded up from one red paperclip to a house, in a year. This has been an amazing journey! I only wish I could go to the housewarming party.

Bliss

2006-07-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

If it wasn't for the occasional need to wade through weeds and brush, I would be wearing shorts on our early morning forays into the wilds. We wouldn't need flashlight or streetlight to illuminate our work, the glare off my oh-so-white legs would do the job nicely. The temps are in the 70's and it's perfect flocking weather. The past couple of nights we've been heading west as the almost-full moon sets and we've watched it sink behind the coastal hills as we cross one or another of the bridges.

There were two perfect lawns this morning. What is a perfect lawn, you may ask? What? You didn't ask? I'm telling you anyway. A perfect lawn is flat or gently sloping, smooth, with a sandy soil base so the flamingos plant easily, but not so soft that they sink or fall over, and they pull out clean when we pick up, like the toothpick when the brownies are done. Some lawns are so over watered they are boggy and the birds pull out with clumps of mud - this is more common in winter but even in summer we will find them. Other lawns seem to be little more than sod rolled out over brick. We poke around with the flamingo rod looking for the spots that we can penetrate or twist the bird back and forth to sort of drill past the hard layer.

Then there are that yards that don't really have lawns. They are more like packed dirt and nothing short of a jackhammer or drill is going to penetrate this surface. The trick to working on these is to find the weeds, and yes, there are always weeds. Stick the flamingo leg directly into the weed because it has done the work for us. Weeds are stronger than dirt (and all along you thought it was Ajax).

I'll have to post the pictures later - Blogger is refusing to cooperate.

Back in Friendly Territory

2006-07-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

Last night's jobs went off just like they're supposed to.

After a little wandering around to find the right unit, we tucked this flock of flamingos into the entryway by the brirthday girl's door. Not a lot of space but the hedges are nice and dense - perfect for "floating" the birds on top. As a further indication that the flocking spirits were back on our side, she had a motion sensor light and no windows at the front of the place. We could even see what we were doing.

And on the other side of the Bay, an anniversary needed to be celebrated. The sender was concerned that there might not be enough room for these cool birds. Also that we might encounter the not-so-newlyweds still up. It was 3:15am and apparently everyone was tucked away in bed, except for the neighborhood watch bird. Directly across the street from this yard stands a magnolia tree. In the magnolia tree is a bird with the most extensive vocabulary I have had the privilege to hear. In a voice that could be heard for blocks around, this bird sang, and sang, and sang - never a repeat. It was the same when we came back to pick up at 4:00 this morning. If he sings like this all the time, I can see why the residents sleep with their windows closed. Or was he just warning us (or the penguins) to get out of his territory. That seems like such a summer experience - bird song in the middle of the night.